Day 25 - Post Breakup

#1
His kisses gave me butterflies. The electric between us was so fierce. Once...

I wish I could say I'm over it. I wish I could say he's not still on my mind during my waking hours. I wish he'd given me answers or even communicate with me now.

But it is as if it didn't happen. Did I fall into a 15 month dream? Where did his words come from if not his heart, and please tell me how one stops caring so abruptly. I will forever wonder.

I will try to do the 60 day no contact, which includes me spying on Facebook I suppose. He knows how to find me but doesn't want to and if I persist his over the top mommy will just get a restraining order I'm sure. So I'm forced to feel this pain. No answers readily available, I hope in 60 days he will talk. I can't just let this go. I lost it all for him, the least he could do is tell me what he's thinking. I don't expect him back, but I need to know...

It consumes me. Dammit.Damn it all.
 
#2
I'm sorry you have to go through feeling like this, hopefully your 60 day no contact approach will easy your feelings.

Take care
 
#3
I wish this would pass. For nearly a month now I've been bed bound. Lost in my own head. Missing him, questioning everything.

I'm tired of feeling this way. How can someone be with me daily for 15 months and not even miss me or wonder how I am? I just don't understand. How long will I wonder? Has anyone had this happen before?!
 
#4
4 weeks have gone by since he broke up with me. I have not seen him nor heard from him.

I feel numb. Still hurt. Disrespected. And sadly, I still miss him. I keep asking questions I will never have answers to. I still just wish I could sleep forever. I feel like a loser. A slave to my own mind and thoughts. Wondering if I'll ever be normal. I haven't left the house in weeks. I feel like I'm living the same day over and over.

I'm just sad. I'd be worse if I didn't have this new kitten, it's the only thing I have for comfort here. It loves me, at least.
 
#8
If I could get out of here I'd drive by. It's all I can do not to check his Facebook. Crying, I miss him so. How does he not miss me? Can anyone tell me that?
 

Baicha

Well-Known Member
#11
Oh bless you sweetheart, I know your pain, I understand your questions - but there are no answers, even if there were it wouldn't make a difference to him and that in itself hurts.
I can only tell you that YOU deserve much better, someone who will love you and cherish you. I know you'd put up with just about anything if he would just allow you back but it wouldn't work, eventually you would see that he was just using you. You are a special human being not a toy to be thrown away because he's bored. Hang on in there and maybe these 60 days will bring some relief.
Sending Huge Hugs
 
#12
His kisses gave me butterflies. The electric between us was so fierce. Once...

I wish I could say I'm over it. I wish I could say he's not still on my mind during my waking hours. I wish he'd given me answers or even communicate with me now.

But it is as if it didn't happen. Did I fall into a 15 month dream? Where did his words come from if not his heart, and please tell me how one stops caring so abruptly. I will forever wonder.

I will try to do the 60 day no contact, which includes me spying on Facebook I suppose. He knows how to find me but doesn't want to and if I persist his over the top mommy will just get a restraining order I'm sure. So I'm forced to feel this pain. No answers readily available, I hope in 60 days he will talk. I can't just let this go. I lost it all for him, the least he could do is tell me what he's thinking. I don't expect him back, but I need to know...

It consumes me. Dammit.Damn it all.
I know its hard.... but you got to try tell yourself that you are better than that! might have to let go as there is nothing you can do! look after yourself, find yourself back and you will find the world opening to you! got to try
 
#13
I shouldn't have looked. Just last night he changed his status to in a relationship, and it's with his 24 year old step sister to be (their parents are engaged). I feel so sick. I thought he was and he is and it's only been a month. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I shouldn't have looked. I feel so sad.
 
#14
I can understand your pain. In 2014 me, my wife and my son I were having some problems and she walked out without as much as even saying "I'm leaving". Then she called my son lied and said I kicked her out of the house. This caused my son to turn against me too so for about 6-7 weeks I didn't hear a word from her or my son and didn't have any idea where they were. All those weeks I sat here at home alone basically night and day except for when I'd go to visit my mom for a few hours a week. She'd done this before and stayed with friends for a few days or a week until I'll let her come back home, but this time I didn't put forth much effort to try to find out where she was and by the time several weeks went by all her enablers had pretty much left her side and she ended up having to rent herself an apartment, buy some furnishings and find transportation for herself since she doesn't drive. Finally after all these weeks I did get a chance to talk to my son and he told me where she was. Since I found out all her enablers had left her side and she was having to make a go of everything on her own I contacted her. We started trying to work things out, but I didn't just say OK come back home. I let her continue to provide for herself for awhile letting her visit the house and maybe spend 1 night a week at home at first, then two nights a week, three nights a week, etc until I finally told her she could move back home if she'd learned her lesson but I didn't expect this to happen again. When it was all said and done I found out what all she'd spent money on and I think I figured out that her little expedition ended up costing her in rent, loans from her 401K, and credit card bills she ran up for furnishings about $10K. For the first few years we were married we had a joint checking account, but that ended when one time she left and pulled out half of everything that was in it when she'd contributed nearly nothing if anything, so from that time on we've had separate accounts. When she came back home I had the money in my checking account that I could have paid the bills off, but instead I showed her how to get herself out of the debt and hardship she'd created for herself out of the money she worked for and made while still paying her share of the expenses here at home. I figured if I paid her debts off she wouldn't learn anything from it and if we did end up divorcing I'd have just been paying the bills she created that I wasn't legally liable for and then she'd still have got her portion of what I had. Since 2014 when she found just how much it was going to cost her to have to provide everything for herself she hasn't decided to move out again. If at a later time your boyfriend wants to make up with you I suggest you use some of the same tactics to let him know you're not a puppet on a string he can just simply reel back in whenever he wants. I know it's hard when you love someone, but I suggest you get back out in public areas meet up with old friends, make new friends and start working on trying to make a relationship for yourself and enjoying life again. If you find a relationship you're happy with and he comes begging tell him you've already moved on and you suggest he do the same.

Actually 28 years ago when I started dating my wife I was still very much in love with a previous girlfriend and I had feelings for her several months into the relationship with the one who is now my wife. My wife knew this and after I started my relationship with the one who is my wife the old girlfriend started acting interested in me again, but I didn't sacrifice what I'd already started with my wife to take a chance on being hurt by the old girlfriend again, she'd had her chance.
 
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Baicha

Well-Known Member
#15
I shouldn't have looked. Just last night he changed his status to in a relationship, and it's with his 24 year old step sister to be (their parents are engaged). I feel so sick. I thought he was and he is and it's only been a month. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I shouldn't have looked. I feel so sad.
I know it hurts. I am so sorry you're going through this - and I hope you've been able to get through the panic you were feeling. You're not giving yourself enough time, you need time to grieve for the relationship you've lost, grieve for the dreams and hopes you had and it does hurt but eventually you will find a better place in your self, a place where you will begin to realise you deserve so much better. Hang on in there. Hugs
 

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