Yesterday I contacted a crisis line. I should have known better because it wasn't a great experience. But I was at the end of my tether; I still am. Afterwards I thought some more about what had gone wrong. I don't find it helpful when someone "affirms" how I feel - in fact I hate it. The other thing the crisis line does is to try to find a way to keep you safe and get you through the day. But to what purpose? I have been trying to get through the days now for a very long time. That is largely what life has become. However, the crisis line had a mental health therapist call me back. We spoke for about 45 mins about my difficulties at the end of which time he was completely stumped. He had no resources to suggest (mental health, career, financial etc) because he thought I had probably exhausted all of them already. The fact that I have tried numerous resources with matters only getting worse is a large part of why I am in crisis. So what do I do? I am in crisis but the crisis line only encourages me to go on with my life but nobody knows how to get me any help to make life tolerable. I was told 20 years ago by a crisis line that help was available and I wouldn't always feel this way. In that 20 years I have seen numerous therapists but got no help with my problems at all. Furthermore, I have had lots of therapists tell me various coping techniques. None of them are helping much. But I have also repeatedly been assured that things were going to improve and that I needed to believe that and think that way. It has, in the words of one psychologist "set me up to fail". As it currently stands, my circumstances look like they are going to get considerably worse. THis is not just my negative view; my friends and family think this is likely too. So I feel like the only thing I can do sensibly is to try to change my attitude to prepare myself for things getting even worse. To bend the coping strategies - which frankly aren't working - towards the idea that things will liekly get even worse. This is completely unappealing to me and a reason for not wanting to go on with life.