Day of Reckoning (triggering? dunno??)

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Surviving, Mar 24, 2008.

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  1. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    The day was long and alone
    and in a corner all I did is sit,
    a pile of bullets before me-
    looking for the one that was a perfect fit.

    My miserable life before me
    torn between darkness and slim hope,
    what's to make it better -
    how am I to cope?

    The 'one' finally chosen
    a tear ran down my cheek,
    lost in my world of nothing
    an answer is all i did seek.

    I gave myself my out
    and gave the chamber a spin,
    if all I heard was click
    I told myself my recovery would begin.

    I sat upon my knees
    plastic upon the floor,
    the barrel cold against my skin
    the note taped to the door...

    I don't know how long I start there
    No strength in my finger,
    One last tear drop falling
    And on my cheek it did linger...
    I really think not,
    Unhappy with my life
    For myself is all I've got.

    Not enough to stop me
    My muscles start to tense,
    I am sorry for who ever finds me
    But this is all that for me made sense.

    I am not sure God saved me
    but all I heard was a click -
    my heart jumped out of my chest
    and the feeling made me sick.

    I sat in a heap crying
    for what I had tried to do,
    I needed something to hold my soul together
    but what would be my glue?

    what does that really mean,
    the only thing going for me
    is that I was still just a teen.

    I picked myself back up
    the plastic got thrown away,
    time to move on...
    based on the outcome of that day...

    From the door I took my letter
    ripped it up and placed it in to the trash,
    but I've still got these damn memories
    and in my head they always clash...

    I am a survivor of suicide, I survived my day of reckoning, and I continue Surviving one day at a time...
  2. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I felt this one

    I too have stared down a barrel
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Damn, that's really moving, I like it.
  4. Hey, Surviving...

    I'm speechless
  5. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    That was really powerful.

  6. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    Thanks every one. Today was rough...don't really know why. This is about the only way I can get it out. If I try to write free style it turns in to a rant filled with nonsense and vulgarities... :sad:

    Any way, thanks for reading and commenting.
  7. However you feel inclined to write (and it may vary) - is abso-f'n-lutely right for you know who???


  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    awesome poem, thanks for sharing!
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