I have been daydreaming a lot the last 2 years. I guess that's what happens you're life is at a complete standstill. I have imagined myself when all this is over and I was who I truly wanted to be. In my dream I come across a suicidal person. I want to help that person. I want to save him. I think about this constantly. But lately I realized that the person I so desperately want to save might be ME. That I need to rescue myself. Only problem is that I'm not capable of saving myself and more importantly I no longer WANT to be saved.