Days of depression have built up

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Purple_Thorn, Dec 21, 2015.

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  1. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    For days I've been in a major depressive place and I've tried so much to get out of it. I had therapy today, I self-harmed a few days ago, I've used my DBT coping skills yet I'm still here. I've started imagining how I could break a glass in the kitchen sink and use a shard and cut myself so bad... I'm in such a bad place. And while my family knows I'm in a bad place, I can't tell them it's this bad. I'll be a huge disappointment (at least that's what I believe) and a failure (again, my belief) and I don't want that.

    So right now I feel like a failure for having major suicidal thoughts, for not telling my family, and for not acting on the thoughts. Failure.
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Purple Thorn I am sorry you are feeling so poorly. Did something cause this depression? Please don't think of yourself as a failure because of major suicidal ideation. Thoughts of suicide do not make people failures. If that were the case just about everyone on this site would be a failure. I don't know how many posts you have read on SF, but I have read quite a few. And these people are not failures. Neither are you! You are just in a bad place at the moment. And the fact that you have not acted on these thoughts makes you a success. It gives you a chance to pull out of the abyss you are in and move on to a better life.

    Why are you hesitant to tell your parents about this? I started fighting depression and anxiety in my teens. I often wonder how different things would have been if I had told my parents. They probably would have been surprised, but I doubt they would have thought of me as a failure. And their support might have made all the difference. I hope you will reconsider telling your parents.
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