dead end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by April, Aug 17, 2009.

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  1. April

    April Member

    I've hit a dead end and I dont know what to do. I have the option of just ending it. I have been depressed for years and have tired to end my life before. I cant stand my life and often day dream for hours just to give myself a rest from me. Last year I failed to get my college course so I repeated my final year. It caused me untold stress and left me waking up and falling to sleep crying. Now Im here again in the same situation. I cant do this again. Im finding it hard to breath and tell my parents that I have no offers. I have to keep telling them Im alright but I just keep failing. The only light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming towaards me. When I got upset last year I was just given out to and made feel worse. I cant tell my friends becuse they are shaky enough with their results. I've been on anti deppressents for while they do fuck all for despair. There used to songs I would listen to or other shit like that to cheer myself up but its fucking useless. I planned out my entire fucking future and now I've failed at it again. I have no where to go and nothing to do. I have no job, no talent and no guidance. The worse thing is, I really wanted to help peopele like me, people who are deppressed and suicidal but I cant even do that. I cant even look after myself. I really need to hear someone say it will be alright. I've always been the one to panic and get upset and I need pratical advice and help. please please just help me please
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey there :hug:
    iv typed almost the exact same words b4 .. so i can relate 2 ur post alot..
    im on ADs aswel..can i ask what u are taking/for how long? they sometimes can take a few months b4 u get any benefits from them.. have u tried any sort of therapy? ur doctor could reccommed some that might be helpful..
    i know what u mean about wanting 2 help ppl like urself.. i must admit i have really struggled at times when i have been low 2 give any decent support 2 others.. but its ok.. no1 here is trained or anything.. we r all in/have been where u are right now.. so try not 2 feel like u have 2 support others when u might need support urself..
    try 2 stay strong.. i know its hard but we are all here 4 each other..
    pm me anytime if u ever fancy a chat .. x
  3. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi April,

    I know from reading your material that you do genuinely want to help people and that in itself is something extraordinary.

    I'm so sorry about college. Perhaps there's another way to get in? I remember before I got into my dream job that I had to do another course and then go into my desired training. There's also some great career advisors who also may be able to assist you.

    Medication is not always the answer with me. I know with myself that I rely on positive social experiences and if I don't have many, regardless of the medication, I fall down. Perhaps you could think about something which is positive in your life or try to do something you've always wanted to do to make a positive? I know for me I always wanted to go kite flying down at the backbeach. I did this and I felt much better. Is there something you could do like that at all?

    You're not a failure. You may think of yourself as one but to me and I would quite safely say to so many people you're not. In fact, going to back and doing another year which you knew was going to be hard is very admirable and courageous. This is even more courageous by the fact that you've had to deal with so much in your life. So well done on your courage and to me anybody as brave as you is not a failure ever.

    Be proud of yourself April because you are someone who is not afraid to go into places which are hard and you are a person who wants to help others. To me these are two incredible traits and traits which I think are sparse in humanity.

    Take care and keep your head high. You are a good person!

    Kind regards,

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