Dead Serious

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Sadeyes, Oct 6, 2011.

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  1. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Dead Serious
    I.
    One ironic thing about really dying,
    is how it can be a cure
    for suicidality.

    II.
    I think I am really dying;
    not “going to kill myself”, dying.
    But, “this disease is going
    to kill me”, dying.
    And now,
    for maybe the first time
    in my life,
    I might want to live.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun :hugtackles::hugtackles:
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thanks so much TE, as always
     
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    *hugs!*
     
  5. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i hope you continue to want to live

    i miss you J xx
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thanks, and yes,sometimes, there is a great irony to life
     
  7. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I can relate so much to this. You're a really beautiful writer and I hope to read more from you. Like I said, I can relate so much to this..
     
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thanks MJ...and so sorry you can relate to this too...all the best, J
     
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    My Worldly Possessions:

    I hope they do not notice
    that I am giving my things away.
    The ring I have to Annie.
    The art I gave to Jay.
    There is someone
    who deserves the most
    but she will know my plan.
    So when I’m gone,
    and only a memory,
    she will take what she can.
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope they do notice hun i hope they see and i hope they do everything in theri power to keep you here hun hugs
     
  11. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I voice the same as TE. I hope you find something to live for J.
     
  12. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Unfortunately, I have an auto-immune disease, which might create a destiny beyond my choice...but thanks so much for caring you two
     
  13. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know how difficult this is J. It is ironic how once the control is taken away we realize what we really stand to lose. Don't lose hope and know that I am with you always. Love you my friend.
     
  14. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thanks so much,C...I count on that
     
  15. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I have often thought similarly. Me wishing not to be here at times and others fighting to live.

    :arms: you deserve so much.
     
  16. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    :hug: We are all here for you hun.
     
  17. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thank you both...and hoping your stay here is met with more happiness
     
  18. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Dead Lines

    When does one
    stop counting
    all the things
    that one has lost?

    Is the price
    of all the grieving
    worth the pain
    that it has cost?

    I hope to see
    another day,
    and yet,
    I feel so
    broken.

    If I were
    to die
    today,
    have I expressed
    the things
    unspoken?
     
  19. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    What if it just means that you never really wanted to die in the first place? When we're in a corner or feel threatened by something else, we struggle and lash out. Threatening suicide is just one way to lash out, especially, if it feels like the only one. But when the time comes that real death looms, you confront the reality of what you're doing. This does not lessen the danger of whatever it's that causes us to be pushed into a corner, it just highlights for us that sometimes what we intend on doing is only a cover for something else.

    Do you think real death causes in us a deep need to preserve a memory of us, somehow? A need to leave something behind. A desire to comfort those who will still be around after we're gone. Further, it helps you to plan out the remainder of your life. Instead of just pushing forward as though you will live 100 more years, you instead start doing things in the immediate time period because you know with dead certainty that you won't be around after a year or two. This avoids mishaps, wherein, you never get a chance to say goodbye.

    Ever not hugged a friend because, well, it feels trivial or somehow unneeded? Months turn into years and those turn into decades. Before you know it, your chance to hug that person is gone. It's so much easier to hug them if you know that life won't go on...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2011
  20. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    As I wrote in my second poem, being confronted with a health issue surely does have one re-examine one's feelings...and yes, except for when I am in dire pain, my desire to live has changed...like anyone else, I do not know how long I will be here, but I do not I will never see old age...my friend is planning a big birthday party for her daughter in March, and it saddens me to think I might not see it...and about being hugged and cared for...these are things I ask for much more lately, not only because they have become so much more meaningful to me, but also, because I do feel them differently.
     
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