Dead Weight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by not2serene, Oct 21, 2012.

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  1. not2serene

    not2serene Member

    I woke up this morning, after a few, interupted hours of sleep, feeling even worse than I have been lately. My arms & legs were heavy. My eyes fought opening. Nothing wanted to move. I just felt like dead weight.

    That's also what I feel like mentally. My feelings of depression are so heavy & burdensome. I feel unalive, somehow drudging through this existence called life. I feel worth nothing, just going through life a burden to others...dead weight.

    I see no reason to go on. The desire is gone...I just don't care anymore. If there was only something that made me feel alive, releasing me from the drudgery. I've tried my usual coping skills, but no good. I'm ready to throw my wellness plan out the window...what's the point?

    I have one more day of helping out someone. I promised myself I'd fulfill this. Then what?

    I don't want to be dead weight anymore. I want to feel alive. Sometimes betwen bouts of severe depression (Along w/ other illnesses, I'm diagnosed w/ Major Depression - Recurrent), I feel better for a while, a few months to a few years. But, then it returns, always looming over me. Will this pattern ever end? Will I ever be able to overcome this, find a reason to go on, & no longer feel like dead weight?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes hun you will be able to overcome it I hope you can talk to your doctor ok and see hun if you can try the newer mediation out there for depression along with your wellness plan you can get out of the cycle of depression hugs
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