Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by erin clary, May 19, 2012.

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  1. erin clary

    erin clary New Member

    I just want to buy a gun and end it. The pain is not worth it anymore. My husband and daughter will be fine without me or maybe better. What is the fastest way to kill yourself? Will it hurt, will it be better, will everyone go on without you, I think I am no longer ready to keep sucks and death seems to be the only way out. I have been thinking about it for a while now, I just feel so empty, and like my life is worthless. I can't even smile I just want to sleep and never wake up. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to be helped I just want to end it. I give up there is no happiness for me every time I think it will get better it gets worse. Let me just end it and I want my family to move on.
  2. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    there was a time when i used to go to bed every night and pray i wouldnt wake up in the morning, it does get better...eventaully, not that its easy. why do you feel this way? I dont think your family will move on, its extra tough on those who care, especially your child, who will lose a mother, what makes you think their life will be better with out you?

    We don't talk about ways to die here but I really do understand how you feel, to whatever extent i can anyway, and i hope we can help.

    Stay safe,
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well I cannot say much, but I know that lifehacker ran an article on what it is like to be shot in the head. I am to the point where I am just waiting for my cat to die. Once my cat dies, I will die, unless something happens. Either way why not adopt a similar philosophy for you and your kid? You will live until the kid is an adult? At least then, you are not scarring your child.
  4. Dreamland

    Dreamland Survivor

    I certainly hope by now you've decided NOT to do this. Talk it out with us on SF. Share anything you have, and I guarantee you'll find a group of people who know what you're going through. Besides: I personally know someone who tried to go through with this and failed, not only making his life infinitely harder but also increasing the emotional and financial burden on his family. And trust me, they'd MUCH rather have had him alive and helped him pay for therapy and medication.

    Most importantly: you have a daughter who NEEDS you. Please don't leave her.
  5. obsessed78

    obsessed78 Member

    Hello Forgotten man I tried to look that article up on lifehacker but couldnt find it. Could you post the link. It is helpful to know the realities of some of the methods ppl have chosen and can be wuite confronting to research them.
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    At what point does one stop loving their child? After they have grown into an adult? The pain left for them will not be any less, regardless of their age.
  7. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry that you are feeling this way :(
    I can most definitely relate as this is the way I want to end my life as well.
    I want to sleep 24/7 too. I too feel so empty and worthless.
  8. jb225

    jb225 Member

    I wish i could talk to you.
  9. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I m not going to piss fart around here but your daughter bang youve just ruined her life.Ive been down road you are going and i know this just by what you have written.To be honest triggered me a bit as depression can make you think outside the irrationally.Emptiness no hope sad tired not give a shit life is worthless yep all the signs.Help and support first things to look at as they take less effort to seek as suicide plans.There is always a way out just takes guidence and yes aint going to happen in first few weeks it will take time and effort on your side.But once you start finding that inner strength again and build it you ll have that wall where nothing again can break you as you will rely on this strength to help you through all challenges.You also find support here so use it as you need and please take care hope to see you around the forums.
  10. gxblu44

    gxblu44 Member

    Your daughter will feel abandoned and will wonder her whole life if it was her that caused her mother to kill herself. As she gets older there will be the abusive relationships maybe drugs alcohol, definitely serious depression she will carry for much of her life. Your husband, he will feel that his partner in life has abandoned him and will lose faith in finding love for a long time if not forever.
    I think about doing it everyday myself but can't get over what it will do to everyone that cares about me and has more faith in me than I have in myself.
    Plus I have this theory that after this permanent action is taken we have to witness the.effects while not being
    sseen or heard by those that are suffering as a result.
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