Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tainted-angel, Jun 4, 2009.

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  1. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    So, ive got my deadline set....

    9th June...
    Next Tuesday...

    Got everything i need for it....
    Ive a free house, for one week, which means i def wil be dead by the time she comes back...

    But something is stoppin me inside...making me think weird...and i dont want it to...

    I just wanna leave...finally be happy....Get rid of the pain once and for all....

    My heads wreckd....All i know is tuesday cant come soon enough!
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sarah,

    What has triggered you to make a deadline? You don't have to do this :sad:
    Who is 'she'?
    I really hope you reconsider, you'd be greatly missed xx
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I also hope you reconsider. What's made you feel this way?
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Please don't do it, talk to us instead, what's making you feel suicide is the only option?
    My PM box is open if you want to talk. :hug: Things can get better, hang in there.
  5. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    I need to stop this once and for all...

    I need to do this for me

    I cant take it anymore...

    I dont deserve to take it anymore....

    I just want to be free....happy...
    This is the only way....

    She is my gran....not a bad woman....just....not there....
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I do hope you change your mind. Other options are available to help stop the despair you feel. You don't have to be alone. Take care and stay safe sarah. :hug:
  7. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    There are no other options....

    Ive tried everything....

    Ive thought of everything...

    Theres nothing at all!! :(
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    There are always options hun. Maybe we can help you find some you haven't yet considered. Don't give up. With as many minds as we have here, we have to be able to come up with something. :hug:
  9. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    Theres Not....Ive checkd...

    This is what i need....

    What i want....
  10. damaged goods

    damaged goods Active Member

    I understand how you feel. It's frustrating to be at the end of your rope, and feel like there's nothing left that will make it better.

    You did say that something is stopping you inside, so some part of you wants to hold on, even though you can't think of any reason to.

    Think of your gran. You said she's not a bad woman. It would be very difficult for her to be the one to find you, especially in her home.

    I hope you find some reason to stick around between now & Tuesday.
  11. Denial87

    Denial87 Member

    Please don't do it. Imagine what the person will go through if she finds you dead. :sad:
  12. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    It wouldnt affect her very much...but im leaving a note outside the door sayin not to go in, but to phone the police, and explaining what ive done......

    I dont want her to see me after bein dead a few days....

    Idk....i just have literally given up....totally....

  13. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Sometimes we think or even believe we gave up but somewhere we haven't.
    I really believe in you, you're a great person, your death will be a huge loss not only to SF but for your future too.
    Please hang in there, I and the rest of SF believe in you and are willing to support you whenever you need it.
  14. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    i cant hang in anymore....

    i really cant.....

  15. I do not know why you wish to end it, nor does your messages make it clear as to why you've taken this decision, but I do know one thing, and that is that life has many surprises in store that you will not have seen, and will not be able to experience if you were to do as you say will, a few days from now.

    Do you really think you have it so bad? Is there something you wish could be changed? I know I wish I had things differently...

    Time is like sand poured in your hand, it flows between your fingers. Do you hope catch it and make it your own? In that sense, I'm just like you, I'll survive, and so will you.

    I come from a proper family, I have a house, a girlfriend, a fast car, a fair amount of money... yet, I don't feel satisfied. I'm suicidal, I've been like this for 10 years or more. It's been on and off, ups and downs. I've worked hard to make my downs become ups. I understand a lot of it has something to do with small things that go on inside us, and that's where YOU need to make the decision regarding how you want this to affect you.

    When you die, it affect people, many more people then you think it truly does. Did you see the latest air traffic accident with Air France flight 744? I knew no-one on board, yet I fly monthly, and it touched me. These people, they didn't ask to die. Their flight came to an abrupt end and that was it.

    Would I wish to go like this? No... I do not wish to die in the seat of an airplane, and it doesn't matter if I sat in First class or Economy. You see the thing that I'm getting at, is that "voluntary" death is an action whereupon you decide this is it, and you do not wish ANYONE to have ANYTHING to do with yourself.

    He11, I'm like this right now... I'm not feeling good, yet I have it all. I friggin have it all! Yet, depression and sad thoughts, they weigh down on me, that's life. Can't have it all. But amongst all the bad, there's a lot of good. I've had a bunch of great experiences as of late, many good times. So if you think this is really the end and you want to end it, why not ask yourself if there's something you still want to do. Heck, I wanna go visit another 50 countries just to tally up my count to 100, I wanna meet crazy people all around the world, doesn't really matter where they are, but I know I'll meet them.

    So... why do you wish to end it? Why do you want others to know you've done it? There's a number of ways out of it. I just felt downright nasty, but I registered on this forum to see if I can "forget" my nasty feeling and perhaps help someone out of theirs. It IS your decision, and I don't know you, can't hold you in my arms, nor can I tell you to face-to-face that you need to get over it, but if you think about it, there's a lot of other ways to get over it, many more than you may thing at first.

    Those who say we need to make a goal to not feel suicidal, are stupid. My goal makes me even more depressed (and no, I won't get to it in this post), but compares to all the other reasons I've seen posted, my goal is not worthy, and yours doesn't seem either.

    So if you're posting on this forum a few days prior to offing yourself, then at least explain what is making you sad, and give us a proper reason to help you recovery. It's not as if we're telepathic, and believe me, I'm quite sure there's a hundred people reading this message who are just as much depressed. IT'S PART OF WHO WE ARE!

    You just need to be able to determine the exact reason for your depression, and then you'll be able to overcome it. At least, this is my opinion, others may disagree and all the more power to them.
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