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deadline

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Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#1
On train head already pounding, feel ill

Find out today if i still have a job

Tried not to think about it all weekend but can't avoid it now and not sure what will happen

Tried my best Dammit out of my hands now if I ever had a chance and my head is not right

Don't know if I'm afraid more of getting fired or not

Getting fired is actually easier - that's what life insurance is for and yes i'm covered

If they don't fire me it means I have to keep being something I'm not, not doing what I'm best at, and I can't keep that up forever

The stress of the last 6 weeks has taken it's toll - always exhausted, short-tempered, more isolated than ever, emotionally hair-triggered - had to avoid all music and family for the last week - torturing myself listening to les miserable now hoping for inspiration but all it's doing is make me cry

I know I should be grateful to (still?) have a job but but it's been slowly killing me for years I can't find anything else, bills are high need the money butt I'm just going to fail anyway - sooner or later - I'm a loser it's inevitable - I feel it in my bones
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
I think too you will not get fired hun you are just as important as the other workers there. I hope you are able to get the coping skills you need to keep fighting okay
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#5
now in addition to whatever may or may not happen we have to start the next round of self-assessments

how about this?

I'M A FUCKING LOSER WASTE OF LIFE AND I DON'T FUCKING DESERVE TO LIVE!!!!!
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#8
Not to you it doesn't.
Bit like people constantly telling me spiders won't hurt me, when I'm irrationally petrified of them.
And that's the point, it's irrational!
You are not a waste space, just someone stuck in a mind set that is slowly destroying you. :hug:
 

IV2010

Well-Known Member
#13
hey echo...I hope all went well at work...
you have many friends here but none of us gonna do the 'rock' thing to you..
*hug*
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#14
well no one told me not to come back when i left but no one has told me i'm safe either - too chicken to ask

still stressed - not going in to work today

feel like a wreck
 

IV2010

Well-Known Member
#17
hope staying home gave you some peace from the constant turmoil you're in Echo..
I feel for you....I wish I could fix your pain..:hug:
 
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