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Deaf ears.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MightyMatt, Dec 21, 2011.

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  1. MightyMatt

    MightyMatt Well-Known Member

    Not been here for a long time. I feel more worthless now than ever. I've wanted to end things before but this time it feels different. There was a fear before, a fear of death, of who I'd be leaving behind, the unknown. That seems to have gone now... replaced with apathy towards everything that should mean something to me. It seems like the right time to go. I don't care about the mess I'll be leaving behind or how family/friends will have to deal with it. I need to just do it. Do it for me because I think I deserve better than what I've got and the cards I've been dealt. I deserve not to feel inadequate. I deserve not to have my mind racing, throwing up images of my pitiful existence, taunting me, letting me know I can and will never be good enough. I deserve better. I deserve total, uninterrupted rest.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU deserve support care and compassion hun YOU deserve peace and healing You need to reach out and get that care hun okay hugs
  3. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    Hi Matt, know exactly how you feel. Appears to me, you set very high expectations in life. Which is a good thing, this tell's me your an achiever. We all deserve better, then what we have, don't you think? Sometimes, life doesn't alway's work out the way, we would like it to exactly. Each and everyone of us, has overcame obstacles in our lives, when life becomes overwhelming, easiest thing to do, is just escape it all. My suicidal thoughts are still there, but at the same time, I'm learning to process life one step at a time, opposed to trying to achieve everything at one time. Take a step back, think of the things you deserve, and what steps it takes to get there, only take one step at a time, opposed to a leap. Wishing you a brighter future.
  4. Severijn

    Severijn Well-Known Member

    Hi MightyMatt. Sorry to hear you're in so much pain.

    Sometimes fixing things by yourself just isn't working, so have you considered counseling before? A good therapist with the right skills and a good heart can make a difference in your life.
  5. MightyMatt

    MightyMatt Well-Known Member

    I have honestly tried everything... I'm at a loss at what can be done... I'm not sure I care anymore anyway.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you deserve care compassion respite perhaps at hospital so you mind can rest hun please reach out again for help
  7. MightyMatt

    MightyMatt Well-Known Member

    I have tried everything honestly... I think I've distanced myself from everyone and now it's too hard to ask for help... That's even if they would help anyway.
  8. dminglight

    dminglight New Member

    this is my very first visit to this site and my very first post. my name says it all. i feel as dim as the fact the spelling proves and my light source seems to be cooling everyday. i sit here with that well known pounding in my chest i have grown accustomed to, and the involuntary deep breaths i keep taking. today i took out my pistol and held it. i left it locked in its case.....today!
  9. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear Matt,

    Your friends or family may be surprised and sad when they hear you are feeling so low, but I hope you can talk to a doctor or anyone else who will listen.. and reach out for help that way. I think they would be more than willing to guide you well on your way towards getting help.. I understand how you feel, and like total_eclipse said above.. you do deserve peace and healing. You are under so much stress, and I hope things start to turn around soon.. A big hug for you, sir. ((Hugs))

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 25, 2011
  10. MightyMatt

    MightyMatt Well-Known Member

    Hey Alex... I'm alone on this. Friends and family are well aware I'm 'not right' at the moment. My family just seem to think I'm being selfish. I certainly wouldn't put the full truth on my friends it's not fair... I don't have that many as it is. I've kind of pushed people away in the past so I've kind of made a rod for my back. I cant see my situation getting any better. I'm out of ideas and to be honest I'm bored of prolonging things.
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