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dealing with depression again

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by onefivesix, Jan 28, 2012.

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  1. onefivesix

    onefivesix Member

    Hi, this is my first post here.
    I am 22 years old and have been suffering from depression for about 5 years. At my worst, I spend 2 months in hospital after a failed suicide attempt. This was about 18 months ago. I spend a good year off meds but in the past couple of months I have severely troughed and been prescribed ssri's again.

    It's really upsetting that I am suffering again. I was doing so well with university last term, I got straight A's. But now I've completely turned around. I'm finding it difficult to get out of bed or engage with anything. It's just not fair. I wanted to be successful for once but now I am just letting myself down. I just feel like I am going through the motions. I've only been on fluoxetine for a week but so far, predictably, things are worse rather than better.

    I just don't know how to motivate myself. I can barely look in the mirror. Anybody feeling similar? Having difficulties starting a new SSRI? I would generally just appreciate some support or words of wisdom. Thanks for listening

  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way. Maybe there is something you can do to distract yourself from the feelings. Something you are good at or something you enjoy. Even trying a new hobby might take your mind off the feelings. I hope you will feel better soon. :hug:
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Hi, I'm glad you posted here. Depression comes and goes, sometimes with a reason, but often without a reason. I can only suggest what has worked best in my life. Eat real food, stay away from as much processed food as you can. Take your meds regularly, I just had a recent failed experiment myself when I tried to lower the dose too far. Don't schedule too much. I have a hard time trying to get regular sleep. I find it helpful to have leeway in my schedule to get extra rest each week. I've learned that working with the needs that my illness demands rather than trying to work against it is most helpful.

    Beyond that, I recommend coming here regularly. You may want to post a diary, as many of us do. Some have a public diary, some have a private one. The best thing about this site is we can deal with things here without being condemned or minimized. We all suffer and we're all serious about trying to deal with it.

    Try to do something each day that results in focusing on something specific each day. The goal is to live today because today is what we have. I try to focus on small stuff when I can't focus well. Like, take a few moments to savor the aroma of a meal. Little things like this can go a long way.

    I hope you feel better soon. :hug:
  4. onefivesix

    onefivesix Member

    Thank you both for your support. The diary thing sounds like a good idea, I might start one.

    I haven't left the house for a couple of days, but I've been getting showered and dressed in time for my flatmate to come home and telling him I've been doing stuff. I know that's really bad, but he is struggling with his own problems and I don't want to tell him about this stuff. I really think I should talk to my mum about it, as she eventually knew about my depression before, but she is so happy that I 'got better' last time that I don't want to put my family through it all again.

    I am a photography student and I love my work. But I can't seem to get any motivation to do it. I need to leave the house and go out to take some pictures for class on monday but I just can't make myself. Maybe I will try and set a goal of going out. If I can go out at 3pm til 3.30pm that would be a good start I guess.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2012
  5. onefivesix

    onefivesix Member

    It didn't really work. I went out for 20 minutes but couldn't really take any pictures, got teary and had to go back home. I will try tomorrow. I might get somebody to go with me
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