Dealing with it

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Deadtwice, Jul 27, 2012.

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  1. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    I am at a loss. I came off suicide watch nearly two months ago. I have fail twice in that past I know the numbers just that fact makes me at such a higher risk to try again but I have never felt alive since the first attempt. That was eight years ago. I know I am still dealing with depression but dose it ever change. I am physically ill and mentally ill but what am I to do. I care for people but I hate being around people. At time i feel like a heartles bastard because I don't give a fuck about the world. For a week or two I can run on four hours sleep and one meal a day. Then just like that I need 14 hours sleep and I'll switch between eating too much to nothing at all. I want to be well but I feel no hope of being well so I just want to run from life. Sry for the ramble I'm a stupid fuck who need to shut up.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not that at all hun I hope you are keeping in touch with your doctor and letting doc know that your depression is still there You may need to change meds or up the ones you are on . Hope is there hun i know you can't see it or feel it but it is there Keep talking to your doctors ok keep that line of communication open hugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There are so many conditions that are very difficult to diagnose, such as various types of Bipolar and such...please be honest with your doctor and make sure you advocate strongly for yourself so that you get the care you deserve...as they say, the squeeky wheel gets the oil, so talk up and question and get educated...I hope you do not shut up, but instead share with us and talk to ppl who can help you.
     
  4. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    My Doc is a gp in a small town. I am about all he can deal with my physical ills. I got a t but with summer it is hard to get there. My doc dosent like me on the med to begin with and he want to take down the dose. :/
     
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