I hate being single, but I have been for so many awkward reasons. Like social anxiety and depression; I can't seem to find the right person.
Today I was talking with someone who I met on a cool forum who is nearby in my area. Suddenly he was like: I want you. I am so into you. But not for your looks, for you mind, and then he became all over my sexual features. And it hit a weak point, it was so hard not to confess things. Because he kept prying and prying. And everything about him was annoying me, but I tried to see past that...and it was like he was saying over and over: I am not a pervert, I hate to come off as this or that. Then he goes "All girls are whores" and after all this random deep shit that I didn't want to think about. Saying, "What would you expect from a guy if he raped a girl, because she wears revealing clothing...
This whole thing is driving me mad. I am already leaving where I live for good hopefully, everyone here is crazy. I don't really seem to find anyone local I can like, expect for a few, but this dude just creeeeped me out. And no matter what, he kept saying he liked me. As if I was determined to go out with him after our 1st conversation on the net. So, after I just left and was going to go somewhere...and then decided to stay home.
I took like three xanax...and laid in bed feeling wretched and emotionally abused...like I wanted to kill the pain so bad that I would accept this type of thing...and it was like two hours of just laying in bed trying to make the pain go away, and it was like he was there trying to make the pain go away...like I feel so broken down. It's all this anxiety, I can't bare it. The skin crawling, fear of social rejection, and then how he kept giving me blunt advice about my personal relations....who was he to be so judgmental??? And who was I to know who he was at all?
We seem to have some stuff in common, but he's NOT who i am looking for, he seems controlling and manipulative...or abusive at least with his words.
And then he pulled the whole, "I just broke up with my gf of three years" thing...I dunno I just needed to vent this because the emotional pangs are coming back and I want to kill them, and then now i am feeling suicidal...and also when i am online sometimes I get afraid they're like murderers...so partly it's my fault. But yeah, I don't know how to handle this. I even look like a mess on the internet here....
Sorry, I doubt anyone knows what to write back...
Today I was talking with someone who I met on a cool forum who is nearby in my area. Suddenly he was like: I want you. I am so into you. But not for your looks, for you mind, and then he became all over my sexual features. And it hit a weak point, it was so hard not to confess things. Because he kept prying and prying. And everything about him was annoying me, but I tried to see past that...and it was like he was saying over and over: I am not a pervert, I hate to come off as this or that. Then he goes "All girls are whores" and after all this random deep shit that I didn't want to think about. Saying, "What would you expect from a guy if he raped a girl, because she wears revealing clothing...
This whole thing is driving me mad. I am already leaving where I live for good hopefully, everyone here is crazy. I don't really seem to find anyone local I can like, expect for a few, but this dude just creeeeped me out. And no matter what, he kept saying he liked me. As if I was determined to go out with him after our 1st conversation on the net. So, after I just left and was going to go somewhere...and then decided to stay home.
I took like three xanax...and laid in bed feeling wretched and emotionally abused...like I wanted to kill the pain so bad that I would accept this type of thing...and it was like two hours of just laying in bed trying to make the pain go away, and it was like he was there trying to make the pain go away...like I feel so broken down. It's all this anxiety, I can't bare it. The skin crawling, fear of social rejection, and then how he kept giving me blunt advice about my personal relations....who was he to be so judgmental??? And who was I to know who he was at all?
We seem to have some stuff in common, but he's NOT who i am looking for, he seems controlling and manipulative...or abusive at least with his words.
And then he pulled the whole, "I just broke up with my gf of three years" thing...I dunno I just needed to vent this because the emotional pangs are coming back and I want to kill them, and then now i am feeling suicidal...and also when i am online sometimes I get afraid they're like murderers...so partly it's my fault. But yeah, I don't know how to handle this. I even look like a mess on the internet here....
Sorry, I doubt anyone knows what to write back...