I am haunted day and night by visions of my own death. Taken by my own hand. I want those to become a reality. I'd say I see myself die at least a hundred times a day. I've tried to make them true. I have finally learned to deal with the discomfort when I tried something that didn't do anything but cause severe discomfort. I could of stopped any time but I stayed the course hoping it would work. It didn't but it taught me I can get through the discomfort long enough to succeed with a method that will. I tried something g that works but at the time it was to uncomfortable. Now I can cope with that long enough to end. I'm tired of pain. I'm tired of misery. I welcome death. I'm not scared because I know where I'll go. There's no pain there. No sadness. I want to stop seeing my own death. Only death will grant me peace.