Dear Friend Game

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Godsdrummer, Mar 10, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Here's what you do;

    Fill in the letter using the codes listed below.

    Here's my letter;

    Dear, soon to be ex-wife,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but, I’m joining the Convent. I think I realized it, when I saw the purple monkey at the mental hospital
    and I saw you hit on my father. I'm sure you're high
    enough to understand that your Ford sucks. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and thanks for the Cocaine.

    Go drown yourself ,
    FPS

    Here's how you do it:

    Dear (someone you recently talked to),
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

    (12),
    (Your name)

    ---------------------------------------------------
    1) What's the color of your shirt?
    Blue - I'm in love with your cat
    Red - Our affair is over
    White - I’m joining the Convent
    Black - Our romance is over
    Green- Our socks don't match
    Grey - You're a leprechaun
    Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
    Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
    Brown - The mafia wants you
    No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
    Other - I dislike your eyelashes

    2) Which is your birth month?
    January - That night you picked your nose
    February -When I quoted Forest Gump
    March - When your dwarf bit me
    April - When I tripped on peanut butter
    May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
    June - When you put cuffs on me
    July – When I saw the purple monkey
    August - When you smacked my butt
    September - Last year when you peed your pants
    October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
    November - When your dog humped my leg
    December - When I finally changed my underwear

    3) Which food do you prefer?
    Tacos - In your apartment
    Chicken- In your car
    Pasta - Outside of your office
    Hamburgers - Under the bus
    Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
    Lasagne - In your closet
    Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
    Seafood - In a clown suit
    Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
    Pizza - At the mental hospital
    Hot dog - Under a street light
    Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

    4) What's the color of your socks?
    Yellow - Ignore
    Red - Put whipped cream on
    Black - Hit on
    Blue - Knock out
    Purple - Pour syrup on
    White - Carve your initials into
    Grey - Pull the clothes off
    Brown - bit of
    Orange - Castrate
    Pink - Pull the pants off of
    Barefoot - Sit on
    Other - Drive over

    5) What's the color of your underwear?
    Black - My boyfriend
    White - My father
    Grey – The Catholic Priest
    Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
    Purple - My corned beef hash
    Red – My knee caps
    Blue - My salt-beef bucket
    Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
    Orange - My Blink 182 cd
    Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
    Other --The elephant in the corner

    6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
    One Tree Hill - Senile
    Heroes- Frostbitten
    Lost - High
    Simpsons- Cowardly
    The news - Scarred
    American Idol - Masochistic
    Family Guy - Open
    Top Model - Middle-class
    Annat -shamed

    7) Your mood right now?
    Happy - How awful you are
    Sad - How boring you are
    Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
    Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
    Depressed – That we’re related
    Excited - That I may pee my pants
    Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
    Worried - That your Ford sucks
    Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
    Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
    Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
    Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
    Other - That your driving sucks

    8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
    White - Your toe ring
    Yellow - Your love letters to me
    Red - The pictures from Vegas
    Black - Your pet rock
    Blue - The couch cushions
    Green - Your car
    Orange - Your false teeth
    Brown - Your nose hair clippers
    Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
    Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
    Pink - The cut toenails
    Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

    9) The first letter of your first name?
    A/B - My virginity
    C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
    E/F - Your neighbors dog
    G/H - The oil tank from your car
    I/J - Your left ear
    K/L - The results of that blood-sample
    M/N - Your glass eye
    O/P - My common sense
    Q/R - Your mom
    S/T - Your collection of butterflies
    U/V - Your criminal record
    W/X – Your sucide note
    Y/Z - Your credit cards

    10) The last letter in your last name?
    A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
    C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
    E/F -Never will forget that night
    G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
    I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
    K/L - Hate your cooking
    M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
    O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
    Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
    S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
    U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
    W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
    Y/Z – am better off without you

    11) What do you prefer to drink?
    Wine- Our friendship is ruined
    Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
    Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
    Milk - The apartment building is on fire
    Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
    Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
    Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
    Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
    Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
    Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
    Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
    Other – you should stop picking your nose

    12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
    Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
    Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
    France - Love always
    Spain - With tears of sadness
    China – You make me sick
    Germany – Please don’t hurt me
    Japan - Go milk a cow
    Greece - Your everlasting enemy
    USA - Best of luck on the sex change
    Egypt – Kiss my butt
    England - Go drown yourself
     
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    dear MOther in law

    i dont know how to tell you this but you are a leprechaun. i think i realized it When I tripped on peanut butter outside your office and i saw you Drive over the elephant on the corner im sure you cowardly to understand how boring you are im returning Your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but ill keep The results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that i Thanks for the Cocaine and go drown yourself

    lol it was sooo fun to do this!!
     
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    GLad you liked it. I saw this at another forum and thought it was hysterical. :biggrin:
     
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Dear Brother,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in a clown suit and I saw you drive over your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you, but I'll keep your neighbors dog as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard and the apartment building is on fire.

    Best of luck on the sex change,
    Emma.



    hahahahahah
     
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Dear Joe

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but, Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realised it when your dwarf bit me at the mental hospital. And I saw you hit on my Dad. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterfliesas a memory. You should also know that I haven't showered in a month and your cucumber-fetish is weird.

    Greetings to your frog Leonard

    Sam



    :rofl:
     
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Dear Kayla,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but purple hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your apartment and I saw you sit on the Catholic priest. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.

    Greetings to your frog Leonard,
    Steffen
     
  7. Longshot

    Longshot Active Member

    Dear Louise,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in your closet and I saw you hit on my father. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo.

    Greetings to your Frog Leonard,
    Nicolai


    Oh my... :rofl:
     
  8. danz

    danz Well-Known Member

    Dear postman

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat, I think I realized it When your dwarf bit me In your closet and I saw you Carve your initials into My boyfriend, I'm sure you're High enough to understand The middle-east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning Your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you, but I'll keep Your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I Hate your cooking and I love Oprah Winfrey

    Go drown yourself
    danz

    lol
     
  9. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Dear Friend (nameless),
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose in your closet and I saw you bit of My salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand That we’re related. I'm returning Your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep The results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

    Go Drown yourself,
    Karren
     
  10. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Dear someone I recently talked to,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear. In your car and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that we’re related. I'm returning your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you, but I'll keep Your photo with the mustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.

    Go drown yourself,
    Me
     
  11. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    Dear G,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose with Jean Chrétien and I saw you carve your initials into my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and thanks for the Cocaine

    Go milk a cow,
    Danny.
     
  12. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Dear T,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining the convent. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon.

    Go milk a cow,
    Christy

    Wow that's great lol
     
  13. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Dear Person at work,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but.. you're a Leprechaun. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital and I saw you Carve your initials into the Montreal Canadians goalie. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and thanks for the cocaine.

    Go Milk a cow,
    Josh
     
  14. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    Dear mum.

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but, your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it, When we skinny dipped in the bathtub as you were eating Kraft Dinner, and I saw you pull the pants off of your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your criminal record as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and I love Oprah Winfrey.

    Greetings to your frog Leonard,
    Veronica
     
  15. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Dear My great friend,
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey outside your office and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and you should stop picking your nose.

    Go milk a cow,
    me

    HAHA So funny!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.