Dear god,

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Jasv, Oct 29, 2014.

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  1. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    I know you're not real, but people believe in you. Why? You do nothing for them. You let them suffer, but they all love you. Why? Why do people love you? And not me? I try to do the right things, but everything fails. I try to help people. I don't want people to suffer, so why do they hate me? My family hates me. I hate me. The pain I feel inside, it's so unbearable. I used to pray to you. I used to ask you, why? Why let all of these things happen to me? I prayed that you would let me die. I begged you to kill me. Why? Why didn't you? I had suffered for so long. My parent's didn't protect me. They let things happen to me, if they didn't do them themselves. Who do I have now? My little brother.. Everyone hates him too. He has ADHD you see, so he talks A LOT. He's annoying yes. I used to do everything for him to the point that he used to call me mom. Right now, my sister in law shut the lights off on him while he was in the bathroom because he was singing. When I went out to find out what happened she told me he wouldn't shut up, so she shut them off. I went crazy. I started yelling and throwing shit. People like her. People like her my whole life thought they could do whatever the fuck they wanted. They like to control people. People like her, I would LOVE to kill. People like her who loves to feel inferior and could whatever they please. Day after day. My hatred increases. Day after day I feel even more alone. I had no one to protect me, No one to love me. If you were supposedly god, a god EVERYONE loves, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?! I was beaten. I was molested. I was bullied. I had nothing. Nobody still loves me. You know why? Because you're NOT REAL. Someone who was couldn't even help me, so why someone imaginative could? Everyday I wish I could be like other people. I want to be normal, but I'll never be that. I can't do this anymore. Can't you see how much in pain I am? Can't you see how long I've suffered? Please. Please. Please. I am so tired. I don't want to do this anymore. This world as gone to shit. No one can see what they've done to me. Why can't they see how much it hurts? I HATE them all. I hope they all suffer. I hope their children suffer. I hope the world burns, so they could finally know what living with pain feels like. If you're real. Do you see me now? Do you see what you've done? Do you see what you let them do? You're no god. There is no god. I'm more alone then I even realized. I hope people know that I am glad once I'm gone. I hope one day one of the people I hate, my family, they read this. And I hope they burn in hell.
  2. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Dear Shovaz – I am so sorry to hear about some of the things you have had to endure. If you will accept me as your friend, I shall be happy to play this role in your life.
    <Mod Edit: Forum guidelines>

    With love – Aquarius

    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2014
  3. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    Thanks, I guess, but I'm an atheist. I never believed even when I was a child. This letter to 'god' isn't actually me writing a letter to him specifically. I'm expressing my anger because people believe in him and yet I am still miserable. I appreciate.. you know.. whatever this is, but I don't care about your Jesus, sorry. I'm not trying to offend you, but it seems like you didn't actually read, or understand what I wrote. I was really angry when I wrote this. I hated the world, but most importantly I hated this idea of god, not just because I think it's ridiculous, but because it's advertising false information. I was just trying to show my point. That no matter what you believe, or even what I believe, no matter what happens, or doesn't, how much I beg, or bleed, I. AM. ALONE and I'll always be. At the end of the day, when I die, I'll be alone. Therefore, thank you for the.. bible rewrite, but I'll pass. It's not like I want help anyways.
  4. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    You are you. Maybe alone.. maybe not. But you are you.

    How we exist as what we are matters. As far as I'm concerned atleast. I think it's pretty precious to be able to be aware of ourselves and the life that exists around us. Or far away. That maybe we're not all together alone.

    One could say, the many individuals that suffer have the unique understanding of the pain that is afflicted on us. And the potential that is challenged. But we can overcome our suffering, and we can become strong enough to identify pain to the point that we wish to not inflict it upon others. But like many things for our species, our awareness and capability comes with the unique ability of choice and action. I hope you feel better, and remember better times so you can forge them for today and tomorrow. As who you are, and who you wish to be. And if i'm off by saying that to you, no hard feelings. One person to another. We're not going to get it right. I just hope you feel better so you can make yourself stronger, and your life better.
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