Dear God

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by see, Oct 20, 2008.

  1. see

    see Well-Known Member

    God here i am once again broken and defeated…

    God you know that my whole life all i wanted was to make people happy to serve them to not be a stumbling block or drain there emotions to just belong but no matter how hard i try i just keep screwing up sometimes without even knowing it not intentional just happens and i don’t know about it until i realize it or someone tells me it rips out my heart every time it leaves me bleeding with no will or want to get up again and no one understands they just get more irritated God please take away my breath my life You know who and what i am what i have done You know that i fail every time and i know its my own fault You know that i want to understand you but i don’t i cant begin to comprehend Your love or eternity …. You have given me so many opportunities to grow to strengthen my character to be a better person but i just end up being the same…God i have prayed this so many times for You to please take my breath to protect those that cross my path from my selfish destructive ways …..God you know so many times i have thought about taking my own life but my strength fails me its to pathetic for words. God You know that i cant see the difference or benefit to me having eternal life You know that i deserve punishment You know that in my mind my eternal death makes more sense than my eternal life …..God I hear what is said about Your forgiving eternal love but i cant relate ..God I don’t know how to get up today or how to make things right how to live this life wanting to die whenever things go wrong how to stop the pain the tears ..how to know you God …
     
  2. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    :hug:
     
  3. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    God absolutely loves and forgives you
    And He needs you around. Others do too.
    There's a reason, I swear, a reason you're still here.
    So just keep holding on for a bit ya know?
    I know you already have.

    1 Corinthians 10:13

    No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you maybe be able to endure it.

    God's always gonna be there.
    Keep up the strength
     
  4. Dear God,

    Please take me. I can't keep hurting people and you know it. I'm not even sure if I should believe you are around for me. I couldn't feel any worse in my head and it's cruel not only to me but to the good people who have to know me. It is cruel to keep me here, but I know, in my heart I can defeat you, I can end my life and when I do I bet you will send me to hell, to top it off. I gave up a while ago God, agreed to myself not get into a relationship with people because I know how it will end. I quit college, so I don't have a reason to stay. I know you are trying your hardest to make me realise I am a bad person and I won't ever get better, but don't try anymore, because haven't you heard? I've known that most of my life. God you are clever, so clever. You made my parents go away so I am all alone in my house, you made alcohol so I would be drunk silly. You are telling me indirectly that my time is now. But you are also telling me no one will care, I made a friend the other day, that is wrecked now. She cared so much for me God, I made her cry, she couldn't handle me. Now she has gone from the site for a while because of me. I am sick of people telling me I am not bad I am not a misery to there lives, yet I make them feel they need to do things like this? Why can't someone tell me the truth, as if I don't have enough torture from you already. But God I can defeat you, I can end my life, now.

    Amen.
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Anyone else thinking God has left the building?
    I always had such a sense of God/Christ and it's seen me thru some terrible times...now it's like ringing his phone and getting dead air :sad:
     
  6. Yeah... a few years ago as a matter of fact

    "The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up"
     
  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    we have a pact a promise one i let you down on but im still trying to uphold keep fighting with me im on home visit so not on pc for long ill text you
    hugs

    please stay hugs xx