Dear guys??? physical looks

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Petal, Sep 15, 2014.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    What do you find attractive in a woman? Hair colour? Face? Eye colour?

    What I am very interested in is weight? Do you consider weight as an issue? overweight/thin/obese? What would affect your decisions on dating a woman REGARDING LOOKS/NOT TALKING ABOUT PERSONALITY.

    Will make a personality thread later, but for now I'll post this one.

    Be as honest as possible, us girls can't read your minds :p
  2. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    I have always considered the word 'fat' to be a feminist issue. I would prefer to use the word 'cuddly'. So in answer to your question Petal, I would say if a woman is overweight or obese they are no less fanciable than anyone else. With those attributes a personality is a bonus. But like I said we blokes (or I at least) don't fancy an overweight/obese woman any less than someone who is maybe thinner. As for a thin woman I would fancy them too even though I prefer the 'cuddly' woman.

    So summing up Petal, I think it is irrelevant the size of a woman; what matters is: it is if you fancy them
  3. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    If you are talking about fleeting relationships at all levels, from acquaintance to potential life partner, yes, weight can be an issue for me, among others as detailed and perhaps too minor such as eye or hair color, etc. But if we are talking about serious relationships, where there's a real commitment from both parties to establish a long-term connection, to keep the relationship healthy and strong, I would say nothing is an issue unless both are not willing and ready to change to overcome that issue.

    I wonder if there's a guy (moderator or not) who start a thread like this to ask the females here. That would be interesting and insightful (at least to me).
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Petal... Even with having those stereotypical ideals in mind, don't forget that we are all different and what person A may like is not what person B would like or find attractive at all. And then there are those asses who think they are god's gift to women and vice versa. Physically they may have what we have been taught to accept as pretty or handsome features, but their personalities can be damn ugly.

    It's such an individual thing I believe and it's not just looks at all IMHO.

    Oops, just reread your post not wishing to talk about personalities. Ok... Again what I may find attractive another person may not. I would worry, because i am a worrier, about someone being 700 lbs for example. Just because of health reasons and what could happen in the future.

    I understand I think where you are coming from re skinny or not skinny. I'm not sure, though, that someone else's ideals are what we should aim for.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2014
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I could obviously answer- but it is of no use- because it is what "I" find attractive - and every guy is an individual so knowing what 30 individuals like the best has no bearing on what the next guy you run into in the club is going to like. Over 3 billion guys and over 3 billion women - and 7 billion opinions about what is best or most important - and nobody's opinion is going to make me change my mind- do not let anybody's opinion make you change yourself either.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I think sometimes there are cultural trends in what people think is attractive and those trends are driven by the media, not by what real people are like. People's actual size and shape are influenced by our genetics as well as our diets and exercise. I think what others find "attractive" is, as NYJmpMaster said, as varied as the number of people in the world.

    Some bio-behavioral studies suggest that things like bright eyes, good posture, smiling all imply good health, sense of satisfaction, and well-being, and those are inborn "attractions" that we can all demonstrate and that draw most people to others. The cultural ideals are "imposed," but the inborn things are things that we all have some influence on.
  7. 3.141592654

    3.141592654 Well-Known Member

    To me personally looks are not a big issue. However if I had the choice, she would be a bit shorter than me. Having a little excess weight wouldn't matter, but I wouldn't want her to be obese. The same goes with being underweight, I don't find walking skeletons to be attractive but she wouldn't have to conform to the BMI standards.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ahhh! Damn you Ben (NyJumpmaster) So true! There was a reason I started this thread though, I was buying cigarettes and I had just had my hair and make up done and he was being well overly friendly and looking at me like he found me attractive, made me feel a little nervous but will admit it made me feel good too. You are so right though, you hit the nail on the head there, he might have found me attractive but the next guy might not have .... Every single person is different and unique. Thank you for reminding me of that lol

    Honestly in my mind it is all media driven as someone said, like I go into the shop and go to buy a magazine and on the cove of every magazine is ''lose 10 lbs in 10 days'' for example. 9 out of 10 mags are like this. I should stop reading them. Because tbh I would not want someone who only wanted looks, I would want someone that is interested IN ME, MY PERSONALITY! Also, I keep up with the celebrities which I guess influences it too.

    Thanks everyone for the advice/input/opinions. I can honestly say you have changed my mind about a few things and made me feel less insecure. Because in reality if a guy looks at me and doesn't like me cos for any reason really, I don't care, I don't, why should I :)

    Thanks everyone, and I am not shallow or vain, my sister being a make up artist and other sister constantly going to the gym and living on chicken and veg kinda influences it, I'm going to choose to ignore the vanity of it. Just look respectable and act respectable. :)
  9. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Female perspective, cynical:

    Most western men - not all - prefer slender to buxom women, almost always with hair textures between types 1 and 3 (, clear to nearly clear skin, even skin tone, shorter than themselves, smaller than themselves, a pleasant smile and almond to wide-shaped eyes of any color, and a narrow to moderate nose. Symmetry and proportion are more important in the looks department than merely hues and weights.

    A waist-to-hip ratio of .7 (supposedly the most preferred hourglass figure where the waist is significantly smaller than the hips, creating an amazing curve from the waist to the hips and behind) for females, has been found in studies to be the most physically appealing proportion of a woman's body shape to men. Note: A woman can be obese by BMI standards and still have an attractive waist-hip ratio depending on where and how her weight is distributed; again, proportion and symmetry determines measure of attractiveness.

    Would men prefer a woman with whatever each perceives as an amazing body and plain face, to one with a noticeably overweight body and a pretty face? Most subconsciously want the body because the waist and hips are what they're paying attention to first. It has something to do with the curves looking pleasant and impressions about the female's fertility and overall health. Remember that men are stimulated visually, women are stimulated mentally; we care about how a man makes us feel, men get excitement from what they see.

    But that's just gobbledygook. Or is it?

    The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love

    Symmetry...the key to attraction?

    Curves Ahead: The Science of Female Waist-to-Hip Ratio and Attractiveness

    Looks only initiate the attraction on a very primitive and basic, instinctive level. It takes much more than the superficial exterior to actually be special to someone. However, let's be realistic: where there is no sexual attraction, there cannot be any romantic relationship. So looks are important, but only to an extent. You do have to get out of bed and have a conversation at some point. So, looks create the attraction, but what lies beyond the looks is what's necessary to maintain it.

    And personally speaking, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who only finds me minimally attractive physically and just with me for my personality, everything but repulsed by my face and body. I want a companion who doesn't only appreciate who I am, but who's also turned on sexually as soon as I walk around naked without one word spoken, and who thinks I'm the most irresistible specimen on this side of the multiverse - skinny, fat, cellulite, stretch marks, scars, nappy hair and all.

    Be who you are and don't worry about trying to attract men who don't find you delectable anyway, because there's always someone else who does. Something about the eye of the beholder. :couple_inlove:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2014
  10. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    You want to go ahead and volunteer to bust that one out?
  11. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    I think that media and television play a lot in the general standard as to what women are supposed to like and brainwashing men into what high end society deems to be "sexy." Me personally, a woman is supposed to have some extra. It's sexy, its beautiful. It's a sign of health. To answer from a freudian point of view, a thicker woman is well fed, a busty figure is going to be able to feed a child and its all part of what is needed to raise healthy offspring.

    I personally do not care about weight. My wife is thick, I'm comfortable with that. I think she is the sexiest woman alive. The things about a woman that I find sexy are self confidence and personality.