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Dear John

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Too_much_Time, Oct 24, 2013.

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  1. Too_much_Time

    Too_much_Time Member

    I received a Dear John text of my wife while I am in hospital for a elbow replacement "***** I know this will hurt but there is no room in our home for someone with a disease like PTSD. I am no longer willing to put up with your mood swings and neither are my kids. I've wanted this for a long time but have never had the opportunity to tell you but Richard has encouraged me to. There is no point coming home because by the time you get out all your belongings will be sent to your place of work. You will not be able to contact me or reply to this message as I will now change my number and the locks on the house. Richard made me realise you were no good for me 2 years ago and I have now come to realise this. I hope you find some one as mad as yourself because you deserve that much. You drove me to the violence and torment because of your moods due to this so called PTSD but I believe it is all attention seeking. I am now happy because I now have a man that can fulfill my physical needs (something you blamed on the meds) and not some impotent ex serviceman. I'd like to wish you good luck but I can't bring myself to it. Julie"

    What can I say to that there's no point in looking at a future when that is what people see. There is no point to this life I have when all I have is gone..........:sorry:
  2. Too_much_Time

    Too_much_Time Member

    I can't do this no more the light at the end of my tunnel has just gone out...........................
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Too MuchTime...this happened to me in 1990..hurts like hell but there is still life without .. Takes some time and ppl to get thru this for sure.. If you have some psych help talk with and make apt soon.. If without a pro, strongly advise, get one..

    Posting here is a good intermediary step now.. Is ok to scream, rant, cry and lots of other stuff on here!!!we will listen and reply..stay safe, Jim
  4. Maedchen

    Maedchen Well-Known Member

    Dear John,

    I am so very sorry. I am not your wife, just a Maedchen.
    But I want you to know that there are other people who might see your value and who might be delighted to get to know you.
    That message of your wife is devastating.
    Yet, although you won't think of it now, there might come a time when you will be happy again. But you have to live for it, dear John.
    Please allow me to pray for you. And I am gladly listening if you want to talk.
    Love, Maedchen
  5. the black raven

    the black raven Well-Known Member

    People can be mean sometimes.... I don't know how they can do that. I know how it feels. Someone I love called me insane and that I drove her crazy too. She also married to another man. I know the feeling :(
  6. aqua

    aqua Banned Member

    Sorry this has happened to you, I know the hurt and sadness may be great, that aching feeling in your heart, I hope it will go away soon. I was
    doubted and blamed and told many things that were not true by loved ones, and sent away like a outcast, my schizo was to blame for a lot, I wish you
    can find some strength to continue on,
  7. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    I am sorry for your loss. But I think that she is not nice and you deserve to be with someone better. You should leave her as well. I will pray for you to overcome this. God bless.
  8. Too_much_Time

    Too_much_Time Member

    I don't have the energy the scream and I've cried my last tears I can cry no more, I feel nothing I feel completely void of emotion. I wish her the same fate she sentenced me to then I may smile if I am there to see it. A person cannot exist as a shell an unfeeling shell there is no point to an existence like that. One thing I do feel is completely calm for the first time in years. The calm before the storm........... we'll see.:clock: is ticking.
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    The cruelty of her words and how she went about doing this to you has almost left me speechless.

    All I can think to say is that I'm so sorry for what she's done to you. You don't deserve to be abused or treated that way. I truly hope you can find the strength to keep going. Here if there's anything I can do, or if you just need someone to talk to.
  10. Too_much_Time

    Too_much_Time Member

    I escaped from this torment for a few hours today, but eventually I was drawn back to reality by another message an email from my ex out lining what her and Richard get up to in bed she explains everything in every intimate detail.................... she was never content to just physically hurt me now she has bought out the person I buried several years ago the person she originally married ........... the soldier. I am trapped, cornered and can see know way out I can only see the taunts continuing something has to break.
  11. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Too much time, would tell her that she should stop rite fucking now all her communications heading in your direction!!!! Talk about the kids and you only exceptions.. Keep her sadistic crap to herself..

    Really sorry for you having been subjected to this.. You are better off finding now what sort of person she really is now..there can be a life without this bitch!!! Would not give her the pleasure of your life ending.. Instead reach out for some pro help and start rebuilding please!!!
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    As Jim suggested, take a stand. Let her know that what she's doing isn't okay, and that the only communication you want from her is dealing with the kids. Only give her one way to contact you so that she can keep you informed about the kids; change email addresses and other personal contact info if you need to, so that you don't always have to log in and see the hateful things she's saying.

    I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you can get through this, and you're better off without her.
  13. my own enemy

    my own enemy Member

    That is one cold b*tch. I would forward that kind of harrasement -that's what it is- directly to her co-workers, parents, friends... But then again, I'm a vengeful person.

    OR take it to court, try charging her for stalking and go for full custody, if that is what you want. But you have to be honest to yourself and think about whether you're up to it, with the PTSD and all.

    I wish you all the best.
  14. Riley36

    Riley36 New Member

    This is cold. This is one of most coldest things I could have ever read. I am at such a loss for words. It's killing me on the inside just pondering about how someone could ever do that, in such a cruel way. I am so sorry she is putting you through this, but one day may she learn that she had did something so very wrong.
  15. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    Block that bitch's texts. What a mean, hateful person. I haven't heard of many things more heinous than what this woman did. Like other posters have suggested, have her limit her communication to the essentials, maybe arrange a go-between with a third person to relay info, so she keeps it civil (the little c*nt). I give you all the credit in the world for being able to hold it together as long as you have. I went through something like this, but not nearly as bad, and stayed half drunk for about five days, but I certainly wouldn't recommend that. Hopefully, if there is a God, she will get hers somewhere down the road.
  16. PullMeUnder

    PullMeUnder Member

    I know people like this, you need to change your number and abandon any way she may have of contacting you. This kind of behavior is the lowest form of human behavior. She is obviously the one attention seeking here. They say the best revenge is living well. Well maybe that is true, I am hoping to work on that soon myself. Believe me, there are plenty of women out there that can understand your situation and can help you in whatever way it is you need. Although it may seem bleak and hopeless, there is hope out there. This woman obviously has no compassion for what you are going through and if that is the case, the love was never there. Take some time to focus on work and getting yourself better. Keep busy, it helps. Time alone to think is never good at this point. JFK said once "Do not pray for easier lives. Pray to be better men." You can be better and you don't need someone like her dragging you back. Stay the course. And because no one else has said it yet, thank you for your service my friend. I respect your sacrifices and wish you well in all that is to come.
  17. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Don't listen to her...there are some people who only seek to hurt others, and they will end up alone and unhappy because how they have treated people. Don't take her words to heart, because you don't deserve to be treated that way at all. Just ignore what she says, she'll keep doing it if she thinks it gets to you. Just block her out because she isn't worth another minute of your time.
  18. Too_much_Time

    Too_much_Time Member

    I went away for a while to take stock and re evaluate my future get back to nature so to speak and sort of level my moods only to find the mail, emails and messages of every sort at my house. She wants me to retaliate or react to her and that f**k wit boyfriends comments so she can stop my access to my girls. I really don't know how much more I can take I'm afraid someone will get hurt and it won't be her as she knows I won't hurt her. If she gets custody of my daughters then I will have truly nothing to lose. I'm afraid to check my mail, email or answer the phone in case it's more abuse. I am so desperate to end this one way or the other. :clock: is running out.
  19. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I do not know for certain what laws are there - here you could get an order to stop all contact and even make it so she had to drop children to you in presence of social worker (which is helpful often because then they cannot make up excuses as to why cannot have kids this day or any crap) - it may be worth calling whatever agency or family court has jurisdiction on these matters there and try to get some answers....

    I am sorry for the difficulties and thank you for remembering your children first...
  20. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are doing well not to respond to any of her hurt hun dont read any of the mail ok You fight and get custody of your girls they are your children and need YOUR love No judge should stop that because of your illness the judge knows it is the best interest of your children to have both parents love I do hope you can get a good lawyer on your side to fight for you
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