Dear Me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Godsdrummer, Mar 25, 2009.

  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Dear Me,

    Ahem, WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!

    Why aren't you happy?

    I mean, you have your kids, a job, a car, money in your pocket, soon your bills will be going away, including that damned car payment, you even got a cat, a PS2, a new TV and some new clothes. Hell you even bought a damned new towel!!!!

    So...why aren't you happy?

    Ok so the divorce thing: Yep that sucks. But lately you have been dealing with it better. Remember, you even took off the ring. Remember how you told your coworkers how it felt like a giant weight has been lifted off of your shoulders?

    Or maybe it's the loneliness thing? That's it, isn't it? People are not meant to be alone.

    But you know, you are not alone. You have your friends at AA. You have your friends at Papa Johns, You even have your neighbor and your landlord, not to mention the least of which, you have your kids, well at least on every other weekend.

    Maybe that's it? Maybe you wish you could see your kids more often?

    Or, maybe it's the booze? You are smart enough to know that alcohol is a depressant right? So why do you keep drinking? Is it the addiction, or are you just stupid?

    You know that the drinking has put your weight back on. And you were starting to look pretty good too, when you lost all that weight right after the err, umm wife left you. So what the hell, man?

    Do you have a backbone?

    Do you have any balls?

    Are you a man?

    You are pathetic!!!!!

    Sincerely,

    Me
     
  2. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    :hug:

    just because you are a man with backbones and balls doesnt mean you shouldnt care about what you are going through. its normal to feel upsad/mad about it..

    The big question is what you are gonna do with those feeling and that energy.
    Are you gonna use it to make something out of you life
    or are you gonna let the negative energery take the best of you..
     
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    That is a good question.

    And do I have the backbone or stength to really try to be happy, or am I just going to be pathetic?

    I wish to hell I knew. I want to be happy and lately I have really been trying. I just dont know how to get there.

    I feel like I am lost in the middle of a pitch black night in the middle of a forest.
     
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    Do you feel powerless to change your situation? If so, why? No good answering with just 'I can't'. Are you taking responsibility for your life or blaming someone else for the state you're in? I don't know, as I don't really know your situation, but blaming someone else will disempower you.

    There has to be a root cause to all this, I don't believe anyone is unhappy without a reason - is it lack of self-worth, disappointment over not getting something, a loss? Could be one of several things.

    Stay strong.
     
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I am sure the divorce is a HUGE part of it.

    My depression has run deep for most if not all of my life. It was always just a minor inconvience for most of my life, started rearing it's ugly head in full bloom around the time when my Dad went to prison. And I was a grown man at that time, with a family of my own.

    I like too a lot of this centers also on financial, but that should be solved soon.

    And a lot of the others things. Booze, loneliness etc.
     
  6. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    a divorce is not nothing
    that take alot of time to get over that, as far as that is possible, just give yourself that time, take that time.

    and a depression is making it so hard to cope with anything, let alone a divorce..

    Take some time, figure out what you want. And how you can achieve that. And if you think that you cant achieve that on your own, allow someone to help you..

    and as for the lonelyness, you are not alone hun :hug:

    we are all here for you :arms:
     
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Dear You

    Ahem..... it's called so much shit on your plate at one time. And you're not even hungry but still others keep piling it higher and higher!!!! So try and do it just like you have been. Take one thing off the plate at a time and deal with it. I know you're overwhelmed but look at how far you have come since your posts of just a few weeks ago!!!! Keep plugging away hun and you know you always have your friends here to help you "eat" away at your plateful!