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Dear Members (Part Two)!

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by UnregisteredUser1986, Jul 23, 2009.

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  1. Dear Members of Forum,

    I have not been an active member of this forum for a long period of time, but I want to express something that I have been thinking in this message. I am going to attempt to make this message short, since my messages are usually great in length. I am also going to state that by creating this message and posting it on this forum, I am breaking a promise that I have made to Robin. The promise is that I was not going to access this forum until December of the year two thousand and twelve. Obviously, I have failed, and I hope he forgives me for breaking my promise to him.

    The reason that I have not been an active member of this forum for quite some time, is that, most of the time, I think that every member who is or were my friend would be in a more prosperous situation without my being in her or his life. I am not suicidal, but I have thoughts about dying, and sometimes, I have thoughts about another person or about more than one person killing me. I do not have any desire to perform suicide. I have an intent to live my life, even though, I do not want to live. I do not understand why I want to decease, yet, I am not suicidal.

    I wish that everyone who is a member of this forum would be in harmonious terms with one another. I do not enjoy when a member or when members engage in altercations with another member or with other members. I do not comprehend the insults, ridicules, and the rudeness that occurs on this forum. Furthermore, I wish many of the members would discontinue blaming the other members who are administrators and moderators for the problems that occur on this forum because many individuals had decided to become unruly.

    I have decided to access this forum once again; the previous time that I have accessed this forum was five months ago, and at this present time, I still discover threads and posts of members placing blame on the moderators and administrators for the forum going to an inferior condition or state. It is not the fault of the moderators and administrators. The blame should be placed on those people who arrive on this forum to become intentionally recalcitrant by disrupting the peaceful milieu of the forum, and purposely causing members who are actually endeavoring to be respectful, kind, sensitive, helpful, and compassionate to the members and follow the rules of the forum, to become upset, angry, more depressed or offended. Please, could we all just get along?

    With Kind Regards,

    Sincerely Yours,


    Big William.
  2. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    i get what your saying and kind of agree with you. if someone's posting blaming staff when its blatently not their fault or anything they can control then yer, its out of order but at the same time there are some faults with the staff here, but they're only human.

    i haven't been as active lately so as far as i'm aware, in the last few months there have only been a couple of disagreements and one or two large explosions. I have to say its been very very quiet from my view.

    as i've said in a majority of threads like this, for this number of members with so many emotional problems, not everyone is going to get on. there are going to be members that just clash from day one of meeting, these are the people that need to just relax and get over it, don't fight. but at the same time no one can expect this forum to run smoothly, emotions are high, there are plenty of misunderstandings and at the back of peoples mind they're worrying this person is a troll. everyone needs to let off steam, when a fight kicks off its normally drink fuelled or due to being over emotional.

    You're expecting a miracle here. you should be asking for those people with grudges to let it go.
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    welcome back 2 the forum ..

    5 months ago i didnt know this site existed..wish i had known!
    anyhows.. i was jus going 2 say that since iv been coming here iv got alot of support and help from ppl..and i dont think i would still be here if it wasnt 4 some of the most amazing ppl on this site..
    the only big arguments iv been witness 2 - or got involved in have been about ppl posting about having intentions 2 harm others..wether its rape or abuse.. which i personally think its wrong 2 come 2 a site like this and expect support for thoughts like that..
    its not quite the same thing as 'having a go' at the moderators.. but jus thought id say that..
  4. φφφ

    φφφ Guest

    Yeah. While it's important to put effort into understanding others and working out peaceful solutions, it's also very necessary to allow people to speak their minds and vent frustrations when they feel there are serious problems or conflicts that need addressing.

    The negative changes you've noticed are trends which naturally occur whenever a group evolves and grows with few restraints. The same is true of nations where the population outgrows the system designed to sustain it. The problems of a group reflect the inherent flaws of humans, and there are no ideal systems which can adequately sustain humanity in large numbers. Some systems can handle larger groups than others, but make no mistake--if you add enough people, the group will eventually suffer and decline as a whole.

    A public community can't simply return to a more peaceful state without sacrifices. For example, those in charge could place more restrictions on who's allowed in, impose new rules limiting the behavior of current members, or become more active in the exclusion of the members causing the most problems.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have found this forum not long ago and i can tell you everyone here is very supportive very professional and caring. I have yet come across anyone that has caused me fear or anger or pain. I am able to get things off my mind without the fear here. I want to express again this is a great forum and i don't know where i would be right now if i had not found it. Thanks everyone you are doing a great job.
  6. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    Adding to this post, i agree completely, especially with the whole members outgrowing rules. The staff are very aware of the problems that come with increasing members and activity, thats why they have introduced the infraction system. Since the system started it has gotten a lot quieter with only a few tiffs.
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This is a forum in cyber and therefore, cannot have the same controls as a face to face entity...many ppl who come here are quite troubled...it does not give anyone license to promote ill-will, but it is predictable...personally, I have been treated, for the most part, with the greatest respect and understanding...if someone does need to treat me with out compassion, it is truly his/her issue, and I can understand and forgive this, when asked...my greatest pain here is when someone needs to inflate him/her self by trying to damage others, and does not consider the fragile nature of our members...but again, these events cause deep sadness (and some anger, I must admit, which I am working on) as it is only a very troubled person who must do this...when ppl do not consider our minor aged members and act inappropriately, I am most enraged (only ppl of real disorders would engage in acts such as sexual banter in the presence of a minor)..."I didn't know" as an excuse only reflects the illness of the speaker!...please be safe and know that all persons who follow the guidelines are welcome (a very simple membership responsiblity)...big hugs, J
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    William!! I missed you, welcome back :arms:
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Conflict will happen whatever the size of group, especially if it's a group dealing with suicide and emotional distress. If you find someone upsetting put them on Ignore and report them to Moderators and see what they do.

    People who are moderator/administrators have taken on a responsibility that others will call upon if they aren't happy. I do not think this is unfair. Part of this responsibility is to be as impartial as possible and to listen to others views of what is going on when it comes to members who aren't just arriving here and causing distress, but who have been here a long time. I notice the last few attacks on this place were to people who have very few posts by members who are known, and have a lot of posts here.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2009
  10. phi

    phi Guest

    It's certainly possible for a small group of like-minded people to function relatively peacefully. The development of such a group requires careful organizational skills and strong communication between members. This is more easily accomplished in a private arrangement for obvious reasons. Their strength lies in efficiency, while their weakness is manpower.
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yeah, good points. Clear communication and a strong growing (?) value system in a small group which would encourage people to talk, vent frustrations and had people who listened carefully, would, in theory, prevent a lot of unnecessary damage happening. It would also encourage trust, compassion and all the things people crave when they need help. I would be afraid though of a certain exclusivity happening and people abusing their responsibilities (it happens everywhere though) and the effect being more detrimental because it's a small group and a lot more intimate. Large groups, public forums might be more safer for people who are afraid of that kind of intimacy.

    I like and was curious about the symbols in your usernames btw. Interesting symbols you got there.
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