Dear Momma

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by BelovedDreamer, Jan 6, 2007.

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  1. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    I wish I could be happy
    could find something to make me happy
    if not for me
    then for you.
    I wish I knew how to explain
    how every word I say
    and every day I wake up
    and put on my morning make up
    and smile
    is exhausting.
    I wish I could tell you
    how draining it is
    and how much it takes
    just to have a conversation
    like a normal person.
    I wish I could tell you
    how terrified I am
    of my life and all the things
    that come with it
    of myself.
    But I’m afraid of frightening you
    of what’ll happen
    when you know for sure
    that I’m not you’re little girl anymore.
    Just like with everybody else
    I’m worried that
    when I finally show
    how scarred I am
    you won’t want me anymore
    or you won’t treat me the same.
    Or I just won’t be able
    to look you in the eye anymore.
    I want you to know
    if all else fails
    how much I love you.
    I want you to know
    how sorry I am
    for being such a putz sometimes
    for forgetting and failing to forgive
    and all those moments
    when I let my exhaustion
    and frustration get the better of me
    for all those times I snapped at you
    for being irritating
    or simply wanting to know too much
    when I had so little left to give.
    I’m sorry if I end up failing you
    one last time
    in the worst possible way.
    But no matter what
    you know I love you
    you must know how much I love you
    and how much you’ve meant to me
    all my life.
    You’ve always done
    everything you knew how to do
    and I’ve always known
    that I was loved.
    And after all is said
    and done
    is all that matters.
  2. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member

    beautiful poem hun...

  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Thankyou for sharing... its left me speechless... I like it a lot. =)

  4. Once again you've mastered getting to the poignant heart of truth and honesty. It's beautiful Beloved.

  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dearly Beloved,

    That is beautiful indeed!:smile: I like it very much.:smile: :smile:


  6. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    It's one of the unfortunate side-effects of depression, the effect we have on the people we care about. Bad enough we hurt ourselves, but that it so often is so successful in driving a wedge between us and those we are closest to.
    I am my mother's whole life. Sounds self-centered, but it is true. I live in great part because my dying would kill her.
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