Dear Mother

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sa Palomera, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Dear Mama,

    It's been 18,5 years now, and it still hurts like hell. Never really knew you, maybe that makes it hurt even more? Because I have now created an image of you in my head. An image of a woman, a mother who understands me. Who doesn't mind me being bisexual, who would still want me, even after dropping out, who would still love me, despite all the things I've done, do and will do.

    But then again, what if I could remember you, wouldn't it hurt more then, because I actually would have lost something I really had?

    Why you? Why then? Why at all?
    It should've been me, not you. You didn't deserve this, I do, not you.

    Will I ever get over it? :cry:
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    *sighs* Mama :cry:
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Estttt. Babes... :hug:

    I honestly know that nothing I say can make the pain you're feeling right now go away, but if you need to talk to someone, or a shoulder to lean on, I'm here for you.
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :cry: thank you Jess, means a lot to me :hug: :hug:
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: No problem hon.
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    mama, I know I'm like the worst daughter you can imagine, but I need to know, why? and what did I do wrong?
  7. FoReVeR LoSt

    FoReVeR LoSt Well-Known Member

    ester, hun, you didn't do anything wrong :hug: i wish i could be there right now, but i'll be there soon :smile: i'll be able to give you my shoulder to cry on, love ya :wub:
  8. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Awwww hun.... :cry: So so sorry. You'll see her once again when you're suppose to, hang in there, we all love you hun, please take care of yourself. I'm alwaysa here for you hun. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Hi Ishy :)

    I sort of know what you are going through. When my Dad died, I was 16, but my brother was only 4. He doesn't remember anything about him, and I sometimes think that that is more painful than my own loss. I have memories and things to hang onto, but he doesn't. He feels guilty for not being able to remember him and it hurts him a lot. Meanwhile, I have memories to hold onto. I'm sure that both are very painful, but I am grateful for my memories. On the other hand, that makes me feel the loss even deeper. Both circumstances are very painful and I really sympathize with you because I know what you are going through. Hold on and stay safe hun. :hug:
  10. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I'm here if you want to talk about it.