Death as an old mate

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LILICHIPIE, Jan 16, 2008.

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    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member


    Does anyone here ever feel like they "know" they will one day kill themselves? Maybe things are not bad right now, but you've known most of your life that you'll eventually end your life. You've fantasized and even planned your suicide countless times. When we moved to a new location I sort of took note (to myself) of places in the countryside where I could possibly blow my brains out should the time come.

    At times when things are bad just the thought that you can stop the pain helps in some way with dealing with the pain. It's like an old friend that presents himself whenever you're in pain.

    Im curious about your thoughts.
  2. New-Hope

    New-Hope Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't say I "know" that I will kill myself. I get suicidal a lot though.
    I have fantasized and planned my suicide... loads of times. I always see sharp objects, high places and deep water in a different light now...

    I know exactly what you mean...
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yes, constantly. Unfortunately I have had several unsuccessful attempts. It is almost as if it pushes me to try again to be successful. At one point in my late teens until about 30 I could never see myself older than 32 and it would end in a horrific car train accident. The accident never happened but several years later, I realized that I had made my first attempt when I was 32. For a little while just knowing that I could end it was a comfort too. But in this past year, nothing helps. I know I will die from a suicide and it will be soon.
  4. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I will definately die from suicide its only a matter of time
  5. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    I really think I will if things stay as they are for me...
  6. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    OK I'm gonna call you Pie if that is ok.
    So Pie I have known that I was not to be here long and endure the seperation from Source and all the angels that know me and are calling my name. I believe many sprits from heaven try to comfort us while we are here and I have heard them daily and have much comfort in knowing that is my true place.

    I have experienced so much pain here but when I think of the joy that awaits me in heaven I almost forget about harming myself because I also know angels can be anywhere and I can call on them now. They always respond.

    As far as this life, I want to give up and join the stream of universal love again. I feel that I have tired of this and it really is easy to die. No matter what anyone thinks our life is fragle and precious but we don't face judgment at the end. We continue on to where we were before and experience the pure love and positive energy which is God.
  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Death has always been an old friend of mine. I've contemplated suicide ever since I was 10. The question is not if but when.
  8. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    the pain numbs ny senses and i cant feel, touch, taste, see, hear like i used to.
    Im lost in me and I know ive just got to get out or end it. Im remember the smell of summer, the bird song, the beaching waves running through my toes, the sunshine on my face, the cooling breeze. Lifes about enjoying simple things, need to get back to basics, before it passes me by. My heart was empty but seems to be filling with compassion. One day Lili you wont live for an end, youll live for a beginning. I know this because you care about others and others are worth living for.
  9. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    haha wow lil, you described it so well. My death friend puts my mind at ease ALL the time. and yes I do feel like I WILL do it, and yes I have planned every last second of it. :)
  10. saeyoon Chung

    saeyoon Chung Well-Known Member

    Suicide? No, not yet. however I will be nice and dead at 30.. the magic number. Alcohol would be my accomplice.
    It soothes me to think that finally there's something I have control over, that is sawing my life off of me.

    I've got time. I'm only 22.
  11. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    i don't think i'm going to kill myself at the moment, i haven't find the right means that i needed in my plan yet;
    but if i am given an option to choose either to live or die, i wouldn't hesitate to take the later... :smile:
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    What's so bad about dying the natural way through old age?

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    hey dave,

    how are u doling? i know its coming from a warm hug from u, but sounds kinda ironic to me. as you ve said, your not depressed.
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