My pdoc is changing my meds, I am seeing a therapist, and going to an Intensive Outpatient Program. I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing, and I still feel so bad. No one can help me, I will always be sick. When I am driving I think of different ways I could kill myself. It hurts so bad, it's been like this for 20 years, over and over again I get sick. I get depressed. I am so damn tired of this shit for life.