Death cannot come soon enough

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by saltydogmk, Jul 4, 2012.

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  1. saltydogmk

    saltydogmk Member

    I am so burned out from feeling like this...I have been battling the depression for far too long now...Cutting isn't helping anymore...All the help I'm getting feels pointless from a team of people I work with...I want the hurt to stop and I do not care how that happens...Carving works to a degree but being that I live with my grandmother right now, it makes it very difficult to do so because she is always around...I want to die so badly but every time I've attempted, I seem to screw up some how and that makes me feel like a failure...I put on a fake smile and pretend everything is alright when really I am dying inside...I've lost all hope of ever being happy or on my own...Everyday I wake up and I'm angry that I am still alive...Darkness consumes my life and I am unable to see light...Suffering is my only true friend...It will never leave me...I do not know what it's like to feel happiness without feeling guilty for it...I've lost all interest and desire to go on living...All I can hope for is that I will get the courage to end my life and be done with this world and be free from my torment...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Take down the fake smile and tell people just how you are feeling and go in and get treatment for your depression ok You deserve happiness and care hun reach out for it for YOU okay
     
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    There's a slight problem in the assumption that being free of this world = being free of torment.

    It might be a comfort to believe that this will be the case, but there is no certainty it will be so. I'm not wanting to be mean here, but wishful thinking about a torment-free oblivion ......... I've been in that place where that was all I craved. But, having been rescued, I know it's not the answer, and that there is a better one, hun :)
     
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