death consumes me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SerjTankian, Aug 8, 2007.

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  1. SerjTankian

    SerjTankian New Member

    i want to die.

    i am not happy, and i want to rid myself from this fucking place that allows someone with such great potential to WISH to die. i am a good person, i am ranked very high in my school, i come from a well-off family, with many opportunites ahead of me. WHY DO I WANT TO DIE

    i have not been happy in the past year.
    when im high, i am happy...but we all know that when the buzz dies, the problems come back around...

    my friends annoy me..parents put too much pressure to do well in, wow, fuck school...and my, sorry, i mean my ex-gf.

    i have had many gf's..but this was diff..this was the girl that i KNEW was perfect for other girl, <mod-edit-inappropriate>, no one else could satisfy me like she did..even as my FRIEND she was amazing..she was/is my best friend..yet, im being pushed off the edge. i want to jump off a cliff and die.

    i dream about ppl coming to my funeral...and i want to show them that when they dont care about sumone..this is wat happens. they DONT CARE. and i stopped caring about my life. im not happy. im not happy. trust me,
    I TRY TO GET HAPPY. i try going to parties, meeting new ppl...hanging out...FUCK IT i HATE MY LIFE. i am still so sad. i have thought baout suicide 4 times..this is my 5th...and i think this will be the one...

    sorry to everyone. i dont need a "suicide hotline" or sumone telling me "things will get better". save me the stupid quotes..that will just push me more off the edge.

    good bye
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 8, 2007
  2. honsou

    honsou Well-Known Member

    Well you seem to have plenty to live for, there is still time, especially for someone with good grades and such. And i know you have probably heard this before but drugs never solve any problems like this. If you want to talk you can pm me anytime I'm here, someone cares about you.
  3. SerjTankian

    SerjTankian New Member

    unfortunately, i am not dead.

    my ex, who was my bestfriend called my parents and stopped me. after a long talk with my family, i was able to talk to her..
    hoping to look forward in life, and being able to talk to her for her to help me..she insteads tells me she doesnt want to talk to me..that i "put her thru too much" and she cant handle having a suicidal friend.

    by this point, i had realized how much it affects ppl..and i am trying to never consider it i told her that i wouldnt do it. her words?
    "ya rite. ill save that, and when you do it, ill throw it on ur coffin"

    this is coming from my best friend, the person who knows EVEYRHTIng about me..the person i can always talk to..

    im trying to tell myself to stop thinking about suicide..but im afraid i wont be able to.

    i need sumone to talk to, to hug, to be there for me...bcuz she left. that bitch fucking left.
  4. honsou

    honsou Well-Known Member

    Hopefully with time she will get over it, she is probably just very angry and sad at the whole situation. Just give her a little bit of time and she will come back. Give it a couple of days then see what happens.
  5. dreamstar

    dreamstar Active Member

    Only the suicidal can understand the suicidal. i'm done trying to explain it to those who cant understand. its hopeless. most wouldnt want to know about it anyway. they cant handle it. its too much for them. thats how my so called best friend is. i dont have any friends. my only friend is the LORD!!!!!!! my only wish is that he take me out of this horrible world!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Carfax

    Carfax Member

    People fear what they don't understand. I feel I've screwed up any chance of a relationship with my ex because I threatened suicide. Some people just don't get it.
  7. SerjTankian

    SerjTankian New Member

    ya, she just doesnt get it..

    its like, she thinks im doing it on purpose, to make her sad..

    or she thinks im trying to make myself sad..

    i just dont understand how sumone can neglect a suicidal person...i need her in my life..why cant she just be there like she has been? she needs to leave now?

    and get mad at me to add to my problems?! ugh
  8. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    do you go to therapy or take any meds? if not you should, cause thats smarter than just waiting for depression to go away.
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