I have access to a very powerful drug right now. I won't say what it is but here's some hints: It's 82 times stronger than morphine and just one dose provides pain relief for a full 72 hours. BUT it's only for people who are used to taking opiates. For people without a tolerance, it can easily be fatal. It is getting harder for me to function knowing that its there. Knowing that if I lose control that it would take mere minutes for me to slip into a relatively painless death. Don't ask why I want to die. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be able to stop thinking about it altogether for just one god damn day.