death is near

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GS9, Apr 19, 2009.

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  1. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    With cut hours, and low paychecks, hearing my sister getting fucked every night, not having any friends cause i dont know anyone in this area, car was stolen from me by my mom and she fucked it up to the point where it is no longer drivable...

    Theres alot of things going on and there has been a battle since 12 to live or die..

    Now that im old enough to get a weapon and end my end life at my grace seems tempting

    I have nothing to live for,
    Pain
    Loneliness
    Suffering..

    I dont even have enough money to eat...

    I been losing weight crazy

    And my health is only going more to the shit

    Death is knocking on my door and I want to let him in
    For he is the only one i can truely trust
    He is the only one that can give me company
    He can end this pain

    I set a date of death already 9/28/09 the day before my 19th birthday
    Though it is hard just to live every day, this date is what i am looking forward to

    No One wants me, No girl will ever love me
    Girls love Thugs and fakes
    and will never date a guy that will give them everything they ever dreamed

    It is true that nice guys finished last...
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope something happens to change your mind between now and your set date.
    Loneliness sucks. But you can make friends here. PM me if you ever want to talk.
     
  3. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    internet friends . . . ?
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know it's not the same as having people to talk to in person. But it's something. To be honest, a few of my closest friends are people I've met online.
     
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Ah, but it seems when you are so depressed you only look at the bad things. Most girls don't like thugs and assholes, guys just trick them into thinking they aren't one. :laugh:

    Though, you should sue your mom, assuming you don't get along with her and she wrecked your car, possibly disabiling your ability to get to work? Idk. Do what you gotta do man. Things can change.
     
  6. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    shit will never change this weekend there was a shoot out and i found out that my slut, bitch, know it all sister is pregnant and is planning on leaving the apartment and fuck me over

    My dream has died along with my will
    im using the last bit of my money for a rifle and ammo

    Everyone lives only to die
    truefully i really don't want to die all i ever wanted was to live a happy life but even that seems impossible

    im just another suicide case waiting
    the only thing good in my life would be death
     
  7. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    i don't know what to think anymore . . . .
    im drinkingand it does ease the pain
     
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...i'm very sorry about your situation.
    it sounds horrible.

    i am glad you came here and reached out. it is a very positive thing to do, and shows there is some part of you that still has not given up.
    it's a good thing.

    internet friends. i agree with wildcherry. .. .some of my dearest and closest friends are internet friends. they are so close they morphed into Real Life friends. i will never forget them. and i love them. and they helped to save my life.

    if you stay, and you are so young, well, if you stay there are so many opportunities, for your life to change. and . doors that will open.

    death ends all hope.
    and pain is a feeling.
    at death all sensations cease.
    you won't ever get the relief that you seek

    we are not sure that death equates peace - because no one knows what comes after.
    maybe nothingness. but. . . is nothingness peaceful ? painless ? do we have our minds? will we be stuck in a limbo of regret? i don't know

    what i do know is i care what happens to you. i am a living breathing person, a mom and a normal everyday boring lady - lol - not just an avatar.
    pm if you want to talk.... i'll listen, and there are many here who will.

    i'd like you to think about reconsidering your date. push it back. you could always change it. but give yourself some time
    i don't want you to go until you are old and gray and have grown grand-children. xxxx
     
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