Hi, I’m new here. I’m a 31 year old man and I’ve decided to end my life by my own hand. The journey to this probable end started when I was tortured over the course of several days. The torture included rape, but the rape was far from the worst thing they did to me. By all means, I should be dead already. It’s only by pure luck that I’m here to write this today. I’ve made an honest attempt to get my life back together since then, but everything I try ends in failure. It’s like I used up all my luck just surviving, and now I realize that the only reason I survived was to prolong my misery. I’ve always been a loner, and I enjoyed being a loner very much, until now that is. Now, I don’t have anyone to talk to, but I guess that’s my own damn fault since I never really cared about anyone anyway. I was seeing a professional but they weren’t helping, so now I’m left alone with my unbearable pain. I carry it with me every waking moment. I’m finding it hard to come up with reasons not to end my life. Every day we placate ourselves with distractions while we wait for death. Life is a pointless fluke of nature, and ultimately we’re already dead. If you are not enjoying life, it only makes sense to end it. It makes sense to me at least. So, I’ve started putting things in order in preparation for my death. I’ve decided how I want to do it, but I’m still working on other aspects of it. I don’t want any screw ups, so I’m going to take my time and plan this out right. It’s definitely not too late for me, this I’ll admit. But I need something, anything, to work out for me. In fact if only one of my attempts to bring my out of this looks promising, I won’t go through with it. Like I said though, I’ve tried nearly everything and have been met only with futility and scorn. So, does anyone have any suggestions that might help me?