death of a parent

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by i am done, Mar 11, 2014.

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  1. i am done

    i am done New Member

    My mom just recently passed on, she was only 61, from the time we found out something was wrong until it happened was only 3 weeks.
    She was my best friend and the only person I felt truly understood me. I always worried as a child about something happening to her, to the point I had OCD, thinking if I did something a certain way nothing would happen. I loved/love her so much, the thought that I cannot pick up the phone and talk to her or go over and see her at anytime is sending me into a downward spiral. I am married and I love my wife very much, she is basically the only reason I haven't done anything, because I don't want to cause her pain. I have seen a shrink and I have some antidepressent and anti anxiety medicines but they don't seem to be working through this. I just want to be with her again, I can't imagine living the rest of my life without her.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you lost your dear was so sudden it must have been a shock for you.
    You are in the raw stages of grief and I understand the pain is excruciating for you, but please don't hurt yourself!
    It's good you've reached out for help! I hope you will continue to do so for both yours and your wifes sake...
    Grief is tough...especially losing our Mums...but she would want you to go on and live your life to the fullest ..
    That's what we Mums want for our children....
    Hold on and give yourself time to heal..
    As long as you are alive so too will your Mums memory be alive!
  3. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    I know exactly what you are feeling. My mum passed at same age and as quikly as yours, although she had been poorly before.

    She was mum and best mate!

    despite having three brothers, I was the one to do everything for her. And i mean everything. I dont regret doing thus either, proud to have been there to do so.

    I was very down afterwards. Actually became very unwell physically but am still here now, 20 years on.

    I talk to her every day and pray to her each night.

    Strange thing is, despite it being such a long time, it wasnt until last summer that i revisited her grave. I did this after actually falling in love with someone for the first time in my life, to let mum know.

    Been back maybe far too many times since then, to say my sorrys for the situation im in just now.

    Your mum is still there for you whenever you want her....she will be in your head abd heart always. And she wants you to continue living the life she gave you.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I am so sorry for your loss. It is very sad when we lose a parent. It is wonderful that you have good memories of your mom. It's perhaps bittersweet to remember things right now, though - it helps to remember her, but it hurts to know she has passed on. It will perhaps feel that way for a while, but most people find that over time, the memories become sweet and pure, without the hurt.

    The love we share with people doesn't die - that love stays with us and can carry us though hard times. Somehow I think your mother would want you to live and have as good a life as you can. That is why she had you - she wanted the best for you.

    May your mother rest in peace, and may you find solace in the love and caring she gave you. :hug:
  5. i am done

    i am done New Member

    Thank you all for taking the time to reply, it really means a lot to me. I think you are all right, she would be so disappointed in me if I gave up. It is my job to continue her legacy of always providing love and smiles to brighten other peoples worlds. It's not going to be an easy road, but I know if she could live her life as happy as she did, even with so much adversity, i can do it too.
    Thank you again.
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    that's a rather sudden departure

    chin up,
    here's some encouragement from random old me too
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you
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