Death of my Friend

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by One who listens.., Feb 26, 2007.

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  1. One who listens..

    One who listens.. Well-Known Member

    A friend of mine committed suicide on friday. I didn't learn until this morning, I'd been camping with my Scout group.

    I was sitting in class, when the teacher announced it, and it hit me like a brick to the face. The grapevine had let everyone else know about it, but I had no idea. I broke down, and I was taken to the office by the teacher, and another student, where there were a bunch of people trained to help.

    They all told me cliche things I've heard before, and things I've said myself to others. I don't feel mad at them, they were just trying to help, but all I wanted was to be left alone to think.

    I am home now, I walked out of the school. I just needed to get this off my chest. I've been having crying jags, and then times where I feel fine. I know I'll get over this, but it still hurts.

    The worst thing is, I normally consider myself someone good at reading my friends, but I had NO idea he was suicidal, let alone depressed enough to attempt. Foolish as it sounds, and I'm expected I'll be told, I feel guilty about it.
  2. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Im so sorry to hear about ur friend. Ive never been through a similar situation and therefore cant imagine the pain ur in. Just remember that its ok to grieve, its ok to cry, its ok to feel angry and upset. Just dont take it out on urself in n e way!
    Take care :smile:
  3. CJ87

    CJ87 Member

    Hey there sorry about your friend. I know cliches can really get on your nerves especially if they're coming from people who don't even know your friend, but u need to realise its important to talk about what as happened. But equally sometimes u just need some time alone. I to had a friend that committed suicide, but there is just no way u can blame urself, if some one is that intent on doin it they will keep it completely secret and there is really nothing u can do. I will always remember sittin on the bus the friday before he did it i looked up and seen him sittin there in the bus next to me and he just waved over and smiled (cheesy as that sounds). Theres just no way i could have known. So don't blame urself and make sure u have plenty of support from friends and family and take care of urself.
  4. Old_Man_Kensey

    Old_Man_Kensey Well-Known Member

    Well it s the same story everyday, give or take...That goes to show that we can t just live and let die, we MUST care about others, we must be gentle and polite, helpful and friendly...Life has become a savage competition and if you are on the side of those who were lucky enough to succeed you need to remember those who didn t and help them out....If we all do that we might experience less suicide attempts and much less suicide deaths.
    I hope your friend is somewhere in heaven, happier and relieved, watching over you and his loved ones who are still among us.
    Take care and live long enough to remember him
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry about your friend OWL. I would say you are a very sensitive person to how others are feeling. i have watvhed you around the forum and can see the type of caring soul you possess. Please do not feel guilty about not recognizing it in your friend. Some people cannot hide how they are feeling while others are such experts we never know until something tragic has happened. we wonder how and why. What could we have done differently. How could we have helped. When in reality, probably nothing would have made the difference. your friend chose not to seek outside help. You will never know why probably. You are right in that you will get through this. You will be a stronger person for it. You can empathize with others that will go through this type of thing in the future. I know it has made me a much more compassionate person for having been through the suicides of friends. If you need someone to talk with hun, PM me. We will get something arranged. Take care. I am thinking of you and the family of your friend. Celebrate his life hun, not his death. :hug:
  6. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Im so sorry about the loss of your friend
    Lets hope he is in a better place now :(
    Stay strong hun
  7. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    Likewise babe, i am so so sorry for your loss. you know where i am if you need to talk. thinking of you *hug
  8. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    one_who_listens, I'm incredibly sorry for ur loss, it must have hit you like a bomb :sad: :hug:

    You're feelings will probably go up and down for a while; feeling like you want to be alone and the next second wanting to get a hug. The loss of a friend is one of the worst things to feel, imo, but losing them to suicide is even worse, because most likely feelings of guilt will arise.

    I know it's hypocritical of me to say, but please do not feel guilty about their death. Sometimes when people are depressed and suicidal, they put on a "happy-mask" they do not show their true feelings, eventhough they have plans in their mind. They want to spare others the hurt of them being suicidal.

    Once again I'm truly sorry for the loss of your friend, and please know that I'm here for you. You can always email me and I'll get back to you as I'll check my email on daily base. Also you can add me to your msn if you have msn: (it's also my email address).

    Please let me offer you a listening ear and some support, cos I know what it feels like to loose a friend to suicide.

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: big big hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Ester xoxo
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