Death, oh sweet death.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pain&Sorrow, Dec 15, 2008.

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  1. Pain&Sorrow

    Pain&Sorrow Well-Known Member

    I am coming.
    The gods cry tears of white snow, they ravage the land with howling winds of death. It is here that I die, it is now that I die.

    I can't bear living anymore...

    I recieved a call the this morning. It was my step-father. Me and him have never really gotten along until the past couple of years, but even then there was still walls between us. I was surprised to get a call from him, my mother usually calls if he needs anything from me.

    He was crying. He never cries... hes a short mean little bastard... he never, ever cries.

    I will never, ever forget what he said to me this morning. Ever.

    "You're mother's dead."

    I stood there for what seemed a very long time in silence. I began to tremble, to feel weak. I could feel a lump growing in my throat.

    The weather around here in Washington has been horribly cold, icy, snowy and very windy since friday. She had to go to the store for some milk, I think he said... i don't remember much of what he said... he was just talking and i was dying inside... She drover her car to the store... hitting a patch of black ice and skidding acorss the road infront of an 18-wheeler.

  2. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :( :(...I am so sorry for your loss, it must hurt terribly, I really really feel for you.
    It probably seems to you like it's the time for you too, now, but I think you should give yourself the time to grieve and think about that later. I dont know if you have any sibblings, grandparents, aunts....I mean, how many pain would the rest of the family be able to bear?
    I hope you reconsider on that.
    I hope you have people to share your loss with, and you can pm me or someone else around here you may feel safe and free to talk to.
    Please take care
  3. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm really sorry! Hang in there! :hug:
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am so sorry for your loss :(

    Please don't go..

    I lost a parent a few months ago too, it was very hard to deal with but you CAN get through it. I tend to sort of block out the pain and memories so it doesn't hurt so much.I'm sure your mom wouldn't have wanted you to do this. Please go and see your doctor , tell her you need immediate therapy and are feeling suicidal. Please, there is help out there. Dying isn't the answer.

    Thinking of you, Lynn
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Im sorry for your lose, but life must go on, like time dose, time never stops!
    You must be in so much pain right now, but that is normal!
    I hope you will undarstand what im saying...
    Stay strong and dont give up!
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