i am so tired of all these thoughts that pass through my head i dont wanna think anymore. i dont want to be a bother to the people in my life anymore. i am tired of wearing this mask that tells people that i am fine i am normal. i got a bottle of booze and a knife both will end the thinking but i dont know which to turn to both seem so tempting one is perminent and the other is just temporary i want them both right now.