DEATH PLEASE TAKE ME! i cant see a reason to get better

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by fallen angel, Dec 24, 2008.

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  1. fallen angel

    fallen angel Member

    i've spent about 95% of the last two months in bed. i'm so depressed. i don't sleep properly, my body is disgusting due to weight and muscle loss. i don't have a job or a future. i constantly think of death. i wish it was easier to achieve, strangling hurts, don't have pills, maybe i should just take a walk in front of a t==== if i could actualy get out of bed. i've read every suicide method site there is i think. i've managed to twist my mind up and now i cant escape. i remember when i was happy. i remember when i was in controll. i've made some irreversible mistakes that will colour my future forever and the way people think about me. i've forgotten how to live. 10 years ago i got an A in english, now i cant even be bothered to use propper sentences. i'm 26 and i'm putting my parents through hell, telling them i want to die, actually physically wrestling my mum for knives and ropes in the house. my mum works from home and now is in danger of not being able to pay the mortgage as she has been with me so many days and nights whilst i've been acting crazy. i want to check myself into a mental hospital, but apparently you have to be really bad prob bleeding to death to actually get into one. the help i get, cbt in january some time and some woman to talk to who just says exercise, vollunteer, make new friends. I CANT DO ANY OF THIS STUFF ANYMORE. ALL I CAN DO IS ROT IN MY BED, EVEN THOUGH PART OF ME WANTS TO GET OUT. DEATH PLEASE TAKE ME SOON. I CANT STAND LIVING FOR MUCH LONGER

    I really cant see a future, it would take me a while to list all the things that have gone wrong. the desire to die is so strong now. i wish it was easier to go
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    nows the time to take care of yourself, your actions are no longer just affecting yourself but others around you.
    it sounds like being sectioned would be a chance to get back on your feet as it were.
    you can just walk into a hospital and section yourself as far as i know, i dont know how long it would be for tho

    be safe
  3. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    You must get into a hospital as soon as possible, surely there must be one in and around Exeter? I find it hard to believe that someone with your problems wouldn't be admitted (I sincerely hope not), and I'm guessing that you're scared to go because you'd be too scared of being refused entry. Have your parents been in touch with anyone in the medical profession?
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hey Fallen Angel.

    It sounds like these past two months have been pretty tough. :sad: I'm so sorry to hear your end of year is going so roughly. It's nice to hear your mother is so supportive.

    You can go to a hospital any time. Especially if you're fighting to kill yourself. Just tell them you're suicidal and they'll put you in a crisis ward--just a boring room to sit in and watch tv for like 20 hours. They let you talk with counselors and psychologists/psychiatrists.

    It's a good experience, and I think a fair number of people on this board have been to a hospital at least once for depression.

    I don't know if this will help you, but whenever I get really sad, I like to look at pictures of the Milky Way galaxy...Space in general. It' makes me feel calm.


    Merry Christmas :santa:


    Ps. The great thing about falling is that you always get to stand up again. :hug:

    Welcome to SF.
  5. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I am sorry fallen angel that things have turned out this way. I hope your mum won 't loose the house and you will get better.
  6. fallen angel

    fallen angel Member


    i've asked to be sectioned. They won't do it! They dont section people anymore. They want people to stay in the community. they want people to go completely crazy before they help. i don't know what to do
  7. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Yeah you don't get sectioned unless you show that you are either a danger to yourself or to others.
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't give up fallen angel. I know that life must suck when you just lie in bed all day, but things can get better if you started eating more healthy and working out. Why is it that you want to die so badly? Your parents have to work so they can pay for your home. I hope that you guys don't lose your home. :hug:
  9. 1victor

    1victor Well-Known Member

    I could be way off but here it comes.
    Is it possible that you have hormones out off balance and that's what causes loss of muscle mass and severe depression? I wouldn't mention it if I hadn't the same thing.

    Since I took care of my hormones I feel much much better.
    But I still fight my muscle loss with protein shakes and regular exercises.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Fallen Angel,

    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. :( You sound severely depressed.
    Are you taking any medication? Maybe try a different type of therapy. Please do not give up :hug:
  11. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Have you tried getting your mother to ring the hospital on your behalf maybe they would be more concerned if hearing it from someone else. Or maybe go to your local GP and say how you feel, then might ring with your concerns.
  12. fallen angel

    fallen angel Member

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh`!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know how t live another week like this. i pray for the escape. i no longr need thids life bye bye
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: Keep hanging on darling,you'll make it. We're here for you :hug:
  14. fallen angel

    fallen angel Member


    i cant stop.keep putting stuff round my neck! some one lock me up please

    i'm ruining my family

    i cant feel love anymore although i kno i love them
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I think that you might need to spend some time in a mental institution to keep you safe. :hug:
  16. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    call your emergency mental health team. they can admit you. no you cannot section yourself, nor wil you be sectioned as you are asing for help. you will be a voluntary patient. alternatively go to your gp and ask for an emergency assessment with an approved social worker because you are suicidal. there are ways to get hospital help, and you do not need to be sectioned
  17. music_junkie

    music_junkie Well-Known Member

    As the others have suggested - Walk into your local ER, tell them you are suicidal, and they will take it from there. You will be admitted as a voluntary patient - you will retain all of your rights as a voluntary patient.

    It will be frustrating sometimes, and boring others - but ultimately, I've found at least, being hospitalized is helpful. Most places ONLY do "crisis stabilization," which means that your stay at the hospital should be very short.

    They will be able to hook you up with all sorts of resources and a discharge plan so you won't be left alone again. They have social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and various other mental health workers to help you through this. It's their job to keep you safe.

    It's a good idea.

    It will save your life.

    You are worth being saved.
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