Death shouldn't be so scary

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jasv, Aug 1, 2015.

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  1. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    I should note that I am on the pills right now and don't feel so bad than I normally do. This is the first time me taking them, but even though I'm calm, even after my mothers drinking rage, I still want to go. I feel fine, but I still don't want to live. I hate knowing that for the rest of my life I have to spend at least 40 hours working at a job and slaving away. I hate knowing that I have to slave away to afford a place to sleep, so I can go back to work again. I hate how no matter what happened today, or in the future, something bad will always happen, even if it's not to me. I just find no pleasure living in this world. I'd rather read my books all day rather than interact with reality, but my books can only take me so far. I have no motivation, or desire. I may feel content, but I know I'm still not happy. I don't want to do anything and I don't want to try. I think I'm okay with just leaving. Does that make me crazy? or.. maybe aware? No one should be afraid to die. We all end up there one way, or another.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    WE all know death is inevitable it is what you do with your life that can make you not just survive it but be a part of living
    Our time here is short enough so why not reach out and help others not all things are dark in this world there are many people who bring others joy and support and care. You could be one of those people
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, I know you are hurting at the moment. It's good that you are reading books as this is a form of your escapism. I know you trying your best to still to be here and that's very admirable. The medication will help you but it will take at least six weeks to kick in. Please remain strong for now and keep posting here. Please keep safe.
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Yeah, feeling this is just a rat race, to live another day. Live from paycheck to paycheck..not pretty, life is screwy. I pull in avg of 70 hours a week below minimum wage... Just to make ends meet
  5. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yeah, the day after day after day of the same old thing really stinks. The weekend is when errands are done and clothes are washed. Then its back to work so I can afford to wash the clothes again. It all seems so tedious and unimportant. Like I am an insignificant piece of, heck I don't know what, just existing until my time runs out. My time could run out right now and I would be pleased. I am not so much afraid of being dead, as I am of the process of getting there. There are so many lousy ways to die.
  6. LexiRN

    LexiRN Active Member

    God, I completely agree and very few ways are "guaranteed". I'd rather just skip the suicide part, with all the metaphorical clean up left behind, and jump straight to going to bed and never waking up.
  7. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm never happy anymore. I want to die really badly to stop my pain. I'm not so afraid of dying as I am of what it takes to get there. I'm just not able to do anything to harm myself. I always think about ways of doing it, but I can never do it.
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