Death smiles at us all!! Tonight it laughs at me!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Painttheskyred, Mar 14, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Painttheskyred

    Painttheskyred Well-Known Member

    My name is tony im 18 years old with nofing....i have no life no friends no money no one to talk to... and ive been waiting for nearly 5 years for all that 2 change and guess wat it aint. Im sick and tired of been treated like a kid ,like im a piece of shit.......if i ended mylife tonight which by the way is what im going to try to do.... THE PERSONS I WOULD WANT TO FEEL PAIN IS MY MUM AND DAD im in this mess because of them the b******s i want them to feel suffering , like they have never experinced it before. They are both evil human beings... GOODBYE MUM GOODBYE DAD. See u in hell.
     
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey Tony, sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. If you don't mind me asking, what type of things have your parents done to make you feel so negatively towards them? I don't know what they've done, so I'm sorry if I'm wrong here but in our parents eyes we will always be their child. It doesn't matter if we are 6, 16 or 60 so if your parents are being over-protective I can understand how annoying and frustrating it can be, but they are most likely doing it to try and protect you. However, you are 18, and you are now an adult and your parents should take a step back and let you have more control in your life. Again, sorry if I'm wrong here. Have you tried talking to your parents about how much they upset you? :hug:
     
  3. Painttheskyred

    Painttheskyred Well-Known Member

    My parents dont care....about anything but them selfs... They left me high and dry at 15.... because they thought i was a bad kid... i suffered abuse from my dad he used to beat when i had done nofing wrong... my mum mentally abused me. Till this day she trys to convince me that it never happend.
    When i was 15 my parents spilt up they where living together for a while my mum would come home and tell me how many men she had slept with my dad would be crying his eyes out saying dont do this to me please dont... i would hug my dad... never worked tryed talking never worked one day she left for milton keynes i found she had met another man he seemed allright untill my mum mind fucked him aswell. She turnt him into her lapdog as well as my dad. before you know it shes living with him as well as my sister kelly i was at home with my dad untill i moved out to live with my grandad i lived there for 8 months untill my dad said you can come live with me i was over the moon.... IT WAS A TRICK. He never came home. He was always with his gf in oxford i caught on that he was only renting it so he could find me a flat as paying my grandad was to much.... so he says....he payed the rent for a month i got a job then got sacked from my job then lost my flat i tryed asking my dad to help he said i cnt ... i said why he said ,well i just cnt and hung up on me. my landlord was going to lay me as i never had any money to give him. untill horrors of horrors my mum actually let me live with her... i lived there for bout a month.... yep thats right kicked me out i didnt anything wrong... she got me arressted for pushing bk in her chair i spent 8 hours in a cell because she told the police i beat her ( SICK) i push her because one morning i got up from bed and she told me to put my blanket away i said 2 secs mum and she said ok 2 secs later i put it away. Shes walked into the kitchen and saids thats going i said what.. The computer she said and the internet . I said why she said because i never did wat she asked me to do. Then she got onto the phone to my grandad telling him about everything that ive suposley been doing . like not listeing at given her attiude. I said one thing ( I DID) So thought enough was enough a kicked the keyoboard out my lap and grabbed the phone out of her hand and pushed her bk in her chair. Thats it. After i moved out of there and injoy my uncles place for 2 weeks i had to put up with herion, needles everywhere, weed, crack, cokeain, you name it he did it. It was horbile after my uncles i moved into emegency housing in bedford. Then i ended up here. I really dnt wanna write anything else to much. sorry bout the grammer.
     
  4. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hi Rich, please don't do anything foolish. I'm sorry to hear all these things have happened to U. However, you are too young and still have a lot of good things ahead of U. I think U have shown a lot of courage by coming in here and telling us all these things, plus U are still doing okay more or less. Hence that tells me that you are coping with it. Have U seen a professional or school counselor? U can IM me at rayden 291 at yahoo dot com if U need to chat.
     
  5. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    Hrrrm, just keep yourself in control . . mind over matter
    "wax on wax off" <---i dunno wut i meant by that >_>
     
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You're better off without these toxic individuals in your life. Try to let it go and think of this as the REAL beginning of your life. Just because they fucked up doesn't mean you have to. As they say, the best revenge is living well. Do your best to be everything that they are not: kind, compassionate and emotionally generous. People say that you can't just write off your family...I disagree. Some people are just not worth your time or effort, and as sad as it is that they could not live up to their responsibility of being decent human beings to their child, you can still rise above it and show them all that you are not a product of your environment, but a product of your own self-worth and effort.
     
  7. Painttheskyred

    Painttheskyred Well-Known Member

    Thank you all so much... al of you for taking time to repley to my thread....Im not going to get into to much detail but i am in hospital at the moment trying to get sorted out from last night... I just cnt seem to stop hurting people as well .... aka hurting myself. I hurt someone in a chat room the other night i was told to rot i think i may just do that.
    You know my mum and dad found out last night threw doctors and they said what a idiot. Not knowing the pain they infelcted on me as a kid made me impolisive AND EXTEMELEY PARANOID.

    Again thank u all very much

    TJ
     
  8. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Your mum and dad have probably left you with so much anger that its unavoidable you fire up with other people. From what you've told us, they seem like a couple of complete selfish f*cks. But your 18 now, and there are other people to care for you now. You can start afresh without them constantly letting you down. First thing you need to do is if you get counselling, explain all the torment you endured over the years. Only of course if you think it wise to do so, you might still love your folks, or you might not want to see them get into trouble over it. You've gotta play it carefully depending on what you want to happen. But remember, you're your own person now and you can start to repair yourself and find some people who actually care about you in the world.
    This could be the start of something better.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.