Death wish

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ruined123, Oct 8, 2015.

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  1. ruined123

    ruined123 Member

    I just want to die. I have never been truly happy, but now things have gone too far. My life just isn't bearable anymore. I am extremely lonely, no friends, no relationship, I have no future ahead of me, no job prospect, I ruined my career possibilities. There's nothing left to live for. Depression is too strong. Just wish I could be dead. This urge is getting stronger and stronger, just wish I can master the courage to finally end this failed existence. The worst thing is this: I know I'm the one who ruined it. I created my current life of misery. I'm the main reason why I am what I am today.
  2. ruined123

    ruined123 Member

    If only I hadn't stayed so long without working. Now I'm unemployeable. I never thought I'd reach this point. Now I'm finished, I wasted the possibility of having a career. I simply wasted my life. No way to meet a girl now, its all gone, who would want a loser? I'm finished
  3. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Ruined, I am sorry for your pain, There is something to live for, I know what you feel, I have been where you are. one thing I will ask of you right now is to hold on, You are having a hard time right now, I know that, You have come here, here is where you need to be, I am sorry that you have waited so long for someone to respond, I am here and I am sure that others will be here soon, this Forum is very supportive and the people that are here will be willing to work with and for you to get you help and support. I believe you can change that, you can rebuild your life, it won't happen overnight , it will take some work and effort but it can be done, I ask if you will take a deep breath and try, really try to relax, it won't be easy, it may feel you can't or won't be able to do it but you can! I know I speak from experience, I have been where you are, as well as mos,t if not all in this room! You well see that we care about you, no one will judge you in here, If you have the time I would like to have you look around this place, try reading some of the posts in the forum I think you will find if you feel able to Identify with some of what people have written in here. If someone asks talk to them if you feel you can, you don't have to do anything take your time do it at your own pace, when you feel able! I will be around and I am sure others will want to talk to you as well, be kind and Gentle to yourself, we are here for you when you are ready!
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm 26 and the only work experience I have is cleaning my family's bar when it was closed and volunteering in 2 different shops. I guess you could say I am unemployable but as it stands I can still get out there and educate myself (which I am doing), maybe you should go back to school/college? That will greatly increase your job prospects. I wish you all the best and I really am so sorry that you are hurting. If things get to bad call a crisis line and see your doctor. Seeing a doctor would be your best step to take at first. Good luck.
  5. ruined123

    ruined123 Member

    Thanks for your response true-lee and Petal. Means a lot to have people reaching out to me and saying encouraging things. I know i have to try and fix what's left, or just finish things like I said on my post. I just feel completely unmotivated. My gf left me some months ago and I still haven't got over it, it hurts so much, and I don't even know how to start fixing things in my life. Everything is such a big mess that I just get too anxious and don't do anything at all.
    I'll volunteering and I screwed up too. Seems like I'm bound to screw up everything I start.

    Petal, I'm glad to see you're working on your education. I have a university diploma but I hate the area of work, and anything relating to this specific major.It was my plan to start a new major but I felt too depressed and unmotivated to chase that too.

    Wish the best to you guys.
  6. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Hi it's me again, I know, don't roll your eyes at me, I hope you kinda smiled, I was trying to make a funny, Bad huh?
    wish the best to us? I am not leaving, you are not getting rid of me that easy. Seriously though you are not!
    In this last post you said you have to try and fix things there is no Finish things please! Take that option out of you vocab please! It is alright to feel unmotivated, I did not say to got out and start building a house today, that is next week, shrugs well maybe the week after? I am sorry your gf left, it is tough to deal with, with everything else it can be devastating, I am not here to just say encouraging things, You are intelligent, you have been knocked Down, I will ask you what is the best thing to do after you get knocked down? I know the answer as do you, You are young, I know it may hurt getting up and trying to start over, I didn't say Jump up, You got College under your belt, O K you don't like the field, try doing something that you do like, even if it is just in a volunteer position, something to get you out and moving, talking and meeting other people! I don't know your strengths and weaknesses like you do, Ruined, I am here to help people, I have to do something so today I am picking, oops my bad, I am helping you, "winks",
    get out of that bed and give me 20 Please! I am joking of course, but it won't hurt you to get out of bed an try doing something!
    anything, did you go to the game room, I did see you in chat so you don't have any prob there.Hey keep in touch let me know what is going on will you please Be kind and Gentle to yourself, I do know you are still hurting so remember we are here to help and support you! If you want to talk, ask, there are people her 24-7 don't be afraid to ask please! Be careful!
  7. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Not Totally Ruined, I owe you an apology I did not see the post you made in the Suicide Forum, I only had seen this one, I attempted to give you some possible options with only about 1/2 of the information. I cannot remove that one just before this, I wish I could but I cannot., I am sorry Truly!
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Ruined, I do understand how you feel. I first came to this site after a job layoff. I was sure I would never find anything else and the government was cutting off my unemployment benefits. That was two years ago.

    Ruined, your youth works to your benefit. I was laid off from a job I held for 15 years in 2009. It took me a year to find another one. They laid me off about a year and a half later. Took about six months to find a new one. They laid me off after about 8 months. It took two months to find another one. Each time it was a step backwards. Also, I am 63, with minimal skills. That makes it rather challenging. People do not like to hire 'old goats'. But I made it and have actually shifted somewhat to a new line of work. You can do the same.

    Why do you think you have ruined your career opportunities? Is it just because you have been out of work for a long time? That can be overcome. If you need some retraining go for it. Are you in the USA? Some help may be available? Check with the employment security department for your state. Community colleges offer many quality courses. Volunteer work is a great way to get new skills and it looks fantastic on a resume. And school and volunteer work could well lead to the development of new friendships. These days, being out of work for a long time does not always ruin a career, and it certainly is not always the fault of the unemployed person. It continues to be a difficult job market. Just start or keep applying for work and be open to new opportunities and less income. You may have 'contributed' to your current state of 'misery', but I doubt very much that it is all your fault. Just believe that you can take steps to improve your situation. If you can believe, it will open so many doors for you!

    Best of luck and keep up the fight.
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