death wish

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LostMyMind, Jul 22, 2007.

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  1. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    Tho I have figured out a few things to continue living for, deep down I have this overwhelming urge to commit suicide. I'm not sure why.. but the urges creep up on me a few times a day and strengthen my depression. When I lay down at night I also hope death will take me in my sleep one way or another.

    Hopefully these thoughts will change when I get a job again and don't feel so totally useless, but even once I get a job I'll still be completely lonely and single. I have a feeling that I'll be single for a long time because of relationship problems in the past. :sad: I feel it's hard to trust anyone anymore.

    Seems that all I can do is "hope" for something life changing in the future. I have a rather bleak outlook on life.
  2. Ukime

    Ukime Member

    my answer will be, get help now. before it's too late.
    when ur older u will get no help so pls go get ur help now.

    hug to you :)
  3. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member

    It is difficult to trust, especially when u have been hurt in the past. Concentrate on sorting out other areas of your life and try not to dwell upon the supposed importance of not being single. Hugs, take care.
  4. Dream

    Dream Member

    We all have hope, if not.. Why are we here? Why are we anywhere? Why did you sign up here? An element of doubt, maybe? Perhaps so. Yes, work. Oh how I love blue collar work, it makes me feel.. hmm, so damn useless. It makes me look upon the clock many hours of which I work there. I look up, oh it's only been 5 minutes. 6 Hours left of this bullshit. I don't know how it is for you. You haven't given me any key elements from which you have writen to try and help you with? I wish we were all Bill Gates, but what a flooded economy that would be, now wouldn't it? To not have to work, and to be loved for what you have rather than who you are.. Which is worst? Money or love? Relationships, they suck. I can admit so, because I have a rare chance to fall into them. I make people feel awkward, can you see why? I am not good at this internet shit, but I hope something I say makes you look somewhere else. I am suicidal myself, I will not lie. If people didn't present suicide as a negative act in life, this forum probably would not be here.

    Hope, it sucks. Why do people focus on something futuristic to help them get by? 1, or 5 years later, what if you are still no where? What if you are aging out of your damn prime. Do you still see hope? Something so damn abstract, as if the future promises it but never brings it unless you imagine even longer it will be there. Relationships.. Lol. Wow. Lonely and single, look up into the sky, and feel the bond that so many other fucked up people look there with you. It's, just whatever. Life, I would end mine given the right circumstances. My only hope in life now is to find a pushing factor, I hope somebody saves you though. I personally hate these feelings.
  5. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I hate money! Without it though I will never enjoy life the way society works right now. I understand what you mean about work, but I rather drag myself through 9-5's doing something and making some cash since sitting at home on my butt in front of a computer all day broke definitely isn't good for my mental health. It's too bad that all "work from home" jobs are scams (at least from what I have gathered so far). If anyone has a valid way to make money from home I am all ears. :smile:

    I have decided to focus on the future for one reason, that is.. that time is honestly the only thing I have. Relationships can be frustrating and last week I was ready to give up on them but then I got to thinking about it. There has to be someone out there who I can find happiness with and confide in, there are so many people. In fact there are too many people. Searching for a that person may just end up like a needle in a hay stack until I'm dead. All I can do is hope it won't.

    Sometimes I think I should have never been born the way my life has been the past 10 months or so. I would like to look to the future with bright hopes but for all I know these suicidal feelings eating me up inside might just bring me to an abrupt ending.
  6. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I have been on many medications and have been through therapy. Neither really seemed to help. To be honest the only thing that has helped at all has been sharing my thoughts on this forum with others who can relate.
  7. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    Indeed it is and I will try what you said.
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