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Death would be a relief

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#1
I just hung up on a crisis line because she said I was being dramatic and not thinking clearly. She was very rude, and now I feel worse. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I feel like I have nobody to call now. Anyone else have this experience? I feel like it put me over the edge. I feel like I can’t get the help I need and I’m falling through the cracks like many others. Death would be a relief. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the night.
 
#2
I just hung up on a crisis line because she said I was being dramatic and not thinking clearly
That's really outrageous for someone receiving calls on a crisis line to do. I think you could complain about that if you wanted to.
Anyone else have this experience?
I remember another member saying once they were crying during a call, and were accused of being a troll. I think the crisis line guy thought the sound of crying was actually laughing.
 
#3
I feel like I have nobody to call now
I think it would be ok to stick with SF if that's what you feel most comfortable with. Generally speaking though, the crisis lines are supposed to be better if you're just hanging on.

I guess there's always a risk you get someone bad.

Samaritans is supposed to be pretty good. I'm not sure what line you tried, or if you'd be able to bring yourself to try a line again, but I think it would be ok to try again if you wanted to.

What would be the way that SF could help the most?
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#4
I think it would be ok to stick with SF if that's what you feel most comfortable with. Generally speaking though, the crisis lines are supposed to be better if you're just hanging on.

I guess there's always a risk you get someone bad.

Samaritans is supposed to be pretty good. I'm not sure what line you tried, or if you'd be able to bring yourself to try a line again, but I think it would be ok to try again if you wanted to.

What would be the way that SF could help the most?
I’m not sure how SF can help. I don’t know what I need. I’m confused, and mentally drained. I think I’ve been on medication so long I’ve done damage. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I might try a different line, but I’m nervous now. She really set me off, and I can’t stop crying. I’m going to go to bed to get this day over with, and pray that I actually sleep tonight.
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#5
That's really outrageous for someone receiving calls on a crisis line to do. I think you could complain about that if you wanted to.

I remember another member saying once they were crying during a call, and were accused of being a troll. I think the crisis line guy thought the sound of crying was actually laughing.
I might complain when I have the energy. It was awful. They are a service through the hospital.
 
#6
They are a service through the hospital.
It could be that local services aren't trained as well. I think they really ought to police themselves, like have some sort of quality control if a call goes poorly. It's not fair to expect someone to have to fight with the system to get decent support.

It just sounds like the woman you talked to didn't have any patience.
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#7
It could be that local services aren't trained as well. I think they really ought to police themselves, like have some sort of quality control if a call goes poorly. It's not fair to expect someone to have to fight with the system to get decent support.

It just sounds like the woman you talked to didn't have any patience.
She didn’t at all. They had asked me to call today to check in and she seemed annoyed to begin with.
 
#8
She didn’t at all. They had asked me to call today to check in and she seemed annoyed to begin with.
I think it would be good if they did an emotional check on all the people working the crisis lines before they start. Like just make sure that everyone is in the right frame of mind to take calls before they let them.

You probably would have felt better if they had just put you on hold for an hour instead of giving you her.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
Hi @Sarah110 *hug

So sorry you are feeling low tonight, maybe SF can help just by sharing your feelings?

I think when you're feeling less fragile tomorrow report that person who said that to you, how dare she, she was way out of line and hopefully the call was recorded, she does not deserve her job.

SF is a safe place and you are not being dramatic, you are in emotional pain and that is okay and you're not alone, don't suffer in silence hun over one person who doesn't know how to do their job.

*hug maybe it would just to chit chat to help you feel less alone, what meds are you on hun?
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#10
Hi @Sarah110 *hug

So sorry you are feeling low tonight, maybe SF can help just by sharing your feelings?

I think when you're feeling less fragile tomorrow report that person who said that to you, how dare she, she was way out of line and hopefully the call was recorded, she does not deserve her job.

SF is a safe place and you are not being dramatic, you are in emotional pain and that is okay and you're not alone, don't suffer in silence hun over one person who doesn't know how to do their job.

*hug maybe it would just to chit chat to help you feel less alone, what meds are you on hun?
I’m on lots I don’t want to name them all it would take a while. I’ve stopped one because it gave me Akathisia which is horrible, and it’s hard to go on with this condition. None of the meds are working. My psychiatrist said he doesn’t know how to help me anymore. I don’t sleep and that makes things worse. I just want to know how people keep going when it’s all they obsess about.
 
#11
I try to tell myself on the bad days that I've survived up to this point, I can do it again. I guess I try to peer around the darkness and go through the motions of doing things to fill the time until I'm asleep again in the hope that eventually I'll have a better day.
 

LOSTINSIGHT

Well-Known Member
#12
Itl be to the good of everyone suffering to report that person from the helpline .that reaction is the opposite of what they supposed to do.
Keep a list of other support lines and never take it personal,,highly ignorant staff.
Take care.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#13
I’m on lots I don’t want to name them all it would take a while. I’ve stopped one because it gave me Akathisia which is horrible, and it’s hard to go on with this condition. None of the meds are working. My psychiatrist said he doesn’t know how to help me anymore. I don’t sleep and that makes things worse. I just want to know how people keep going when it’s all they obsess about.
Hi @Sarah110

I am sorry you are feeling low this morning, *a *hug and sincere well wishes from one peer to another*

Can I ask are you on sleeping tablets? If not, you could recommend that to your psychiatrist to help you get some restful sleep and there are also studies showing that Seroquel can reduce racing thoughts (I mention that because that is common in people with PTSD). In saying that, it could possibly help you relax before sleep?

I don't know where you live and no I'm not asking you to share that personal info, my point being in the U.S there is the issue of insurance with some people and they can't afford another as soon as needed or waiting listing in other countries...psychiatrists.

If your psychiatrist is ''out of ideas'' maybe a change to a new psychiatrist would be beneficial for you? Do you think that could help you? Is that a viable option? Fresh ideas on a situation and diagnosis could prove useful.

Also - you mentioned you stopped one medication, is it possible you could be suffering from withdrawal symptoms at the moment? Or was that a while back? It's unfortunate these medicine come with the price of health.

I am sorry for all the question Sarah, it's just I genuinely care and really dislike seeing you hurt so much.

We care, Sarah. You've endured horrific circumstances and PTSD can definitely be one hell of a rollercoaster but there IS hope and there are people that do care. Many hugs to you, wish I was there to give you a real one *hug 🎀💝
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#14
Yes I’m on sleeping tablets but I wake up at 2-2:30am every day. The waitlist is very long to get a new psychiatrist here, so I’m stuck with him. I stopped that medication a couple of weeks ago and I’ve read that you get horrible withdrawl if you stop cold turkey but that’s what he told me to do or my condition could be permanent. Thanks for the hugs and message.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#15
Hey again Sarah *hug

Ah, I see, if you only stopped the medicine a couple of weeks ago you could be experiencing withdrawal unfortunately, but if your doctors advice was to stop cold turkey then it is best to stick to that advice. Hopefully any withdrawal will ease off soon.

When you wake at that time how do you feel hun? What do you normally do? Read, TV, listen to music?

If I was in that position I'd personally try and change get the sleeping tablet changed to maybe something like a benzodiazepine one such as Dalmane as it's more likely to keep you asleep, maybe that is an option. :)

Keep talking to us here ok? Try and have a nice evening & be kind to yourself *hug xox
 

Jane65

Well-Known Member
#16
Hi Sarah, I've had a few bad experiences with helplines, both local NHS funded crisis lines and Samaritans. I have on occasion put the phone down and redialed to get someone different to talk to. It can really add to your distress to get someone who behaves that badly.
I hope you have had a better day today. Do please keep coming back here and updating. There are always lots of people around ready to listen and offer what support we can.
You deserve help and a listening service should be capable of meeting that need.
Sending you loving thoughts
Jane xxx
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#17
Hey again Sarah *hug

Ah, I see, if you only stopped the medicine a couple of weeks ago you could be experiencing withdrawal unfortunately, but if your doctors advice was to stop cold turkey then it is best to stick to that advice. Hopefully any withdrawal will ease off soon.

When you wake at that time how do you feel hun? What do you normally do? Read, TV, listen to music?

If I was in that position I'd personally try and change get the sleeping tablet changed to maybe something like a benzodiazepine one such as Dalmane as it's more likely to keep you asleep, maybe that is an option. :)

Keep talking to us here ok? Try and have a nice evening & be kind to yourself *hug xox
When I wake up at that time I just sit and drink coffee and constantly rock side to side because of the Akathisia. It goes on for hours. I have asked about different sleeping medication but he says there is nothing else. I know that’s not true. He is the worst. I’m so tired all the time I can’t function like a normal human being. I’ve never heard of that medication. I’ll look it up. I know I have to tell him that I’ve gone downhill but I’m afraid he’ll just try to change all of my medications again and I’ll be worse off again. It has happened many times. I feel stuck.
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#18
Hi Sarah, I've had a few bad experiences with helplines, both local NHS funded crisis lines and Samaritans. I have on occasion put the phone down and redialed to get someone different to talk to. It can really add to your distress to get someone who behaves that badly.
I hope you have had a better day today. Do please keep coming back here and updating. There are always lots of people around ready to listen and offer what support we can.
You deserve help and a listening service should be capable of meeting that need.
Sending you loving thoughts
Jane xxx
Thanks Jane.
 

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