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Death would be easier

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by emack54, Jul 28, 2010.

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  1. emack54

    emack54 Well-Known Member

    I am just tired of living a life I feel I was never meant to live. I am 26 years old and have had suicidal thoughts, feelings and attempts since I was 16 years old. Isnt 10 years long enough!! I just want the pain to go away, to feel something other than I what I feel now. Life seems to hard to keep on living. I have a family who I know loves me, but why do I have to hold on for them. Shouldnt I want to hold on for myself. They say it gets easier but I dont know.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey there :hug:

    I really feel for you. 10 years is a long time to suffer :( I'm glad you have your family there for you, but do you have any support outside of your family? I know it can be awkward to talk to family about these kind of issues.

    I personally believe this is true but only when you're in the right environment that will help you recover.Do you have a therapist, psych.. they will help you through it and offer suggestions on how you can cope and improve :hug: 's

    Feel free to PM me too hun :)
  3. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    IM praying for you. Things can get better,you need to plan a new course of action. Tell me what you want out of life and lets try to get it for you. Pray too. Dont forget that please

    Write me,

  4. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    In my view, if you are here, you are here for a purpose and it's up to you to find out what that is. I believe that each one of us in their own way is special and unique. Just imagine in the entire history of the whole of Creation there has never been and never will be another being quite like you and me! Our eyes, hands, hair, handwriting, smile, voice and mind are unique to us. No-one walks, talks, thinks, acts or even meditates exactly the way we do. Nobody can paint our brush strokes or has exactly the same taste as we have for food, music, dance and other artistic endeavours. Nobody can perceive things quite the way we do; and no-one can feel our feelings. There has never been someone who laughs exactly the way we do, and what makes us laugh or cry, can have quite a different effect on someone else.

    We are all different from everybody else who ever walked the Earth, and we are all specially gifted in some way. Even if others pursue the same creative activities as we do, everybody has their own special and unique way of expressing themselves. In the course of our evolution as individuals and through many lifetimes, we all have developed our own set of abilities. There always will be someone who is better than we are, at one thing or another; and everyone is likely to be our superior at least in one way. But do not overlook that this is valid for each one of us.

    Every human soul has been provided by our Creator with a different set of gifts and talents. They have taken many lifetimes to develop and it is important to be grateful for them, to take good care of them and further develop them, to the best of our ability. The whole range of that which has been bestowed upon us produces a vibration and a sound that is uniquely our own. The entire human race is like a room that is filled with billions of musical instruments. Listening to the symphony they are producing together, it may seem to us as if some of the instruments in some way sounded better than ours. Don’t be disturbed by this, because it’s due to the fact that every instruments is a unique creation, to ensure that no-one matches exactly anyone else’s sound. No matter how hard they may try, it’s impossible!

    We are all tiny particles of a vast whole, and the functioning of one is as important as that of all the others for the wellbeing of the whole. Every single one is rare and precious in the eyes of the One who created us. And whatever we imagine this being to be, even the greatest sceptic is bound to admit that we and our world cannot have appeared out of nowhere. Our Creator holds the Great Plan of life in His/Her loving hands and designed us to be exactly the way we are.

    We are not some kind of a random and haphazard appearance, or some kind of a cosmic joke. We are in this life so that we may learn to love, appreciate and accept ourselves, just the way we are, because that is the way the Great White Spirit, who is our true Father/Mother, loves us and wants us to be. We all contain the seed of perfection and all we have to do is give of their best in all situations. This gradually brings forth ever more of our Divine qualities from within the very core of our own being.

    Wherever we may find ourselves, we are always in the right spot and at the right time. We are there so that we can do our share of making our planet a better, happier, more peaceful and beautiful place for all its inhabitants. And each one of us was created to fulfil one specific task on the Earth plane, some kind of a job that can only be carried out by us and which is rightfully ours. To find it, it is essential that we follow the inner guidance of our natural inclinations. We need learn to dream our own dreams and to pursue them, not those of others, no matter how dear they may be to us, even parents or grandparents.

    Only by never imitating others can we hope to be true to our real and Highest Self and find our special assignment. Through acting in accordance with Its will and desires, refusing to follow the drives and urges of our lower earthly nature, whilst giving of our best at all times, hand in hand with God and the Angels each one of us is meant to develop their own precious and unique set of gifts to its highest potential and full flowering.


    With love and light,
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear you have been feeling thus way for so long. It sucks when all you think about is suicide.

    Have you looked into why you feel this way at all? Depression is like a cut. It may never heal if you do not treat it.

    Yes you should want to live for you. That does not mean you cannot live for others from time to time.
  6. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I'm 31 but I know exactly how you feel.
    I'm tired of living too. Everyday is a battle for me and the same old shit day after day- I'm really tired of it- just thinking about it even makes me exhausted. I agree life seems to hard for me to keep living too.
    I'm tired of holding on for everyone else too. What about what I want???
  7. Azmodius

    Azmodius Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down, and I agree, it's almost impossible to simply live for others, you need to live for a reason for you. Take time to think about whether you have a goal of any kind, a 'reason to live', even if it's to visit a friend soon, or just complete an artistic work. As each one is completed, move onto the next one. It sounds pathetic, but it can help.

    I don't think it gets easier, 15 years on I am worse. But, I hope the coping mechanisms improve, our ability to deal with the issues. That's why I keep trying, keep holding on for another day, the slightest chance I might once again feel happy. It's not substantial, I know, but meh!

    If you ever feel really bad, PM me or ask for help, I'm available to help!
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