When I was 14, something happened that changed my life forever. The constant pillar in my life was taken away from me forever. While everyone else was cruel to me, she called me her dolly and showed me love that I've never felt since and never will again. She was my mother, the person who gave birth to me. She died on the 30th of August 2003. My mother wasn't a perfect person, she had a heavy drinking problem by the time she died, but she gave me something that keeps me alive even today over 3 years since I last saw her face, or held her hand or did the things I wish I could do. I miss her alot right now, and I often wonder what things would be like if she'd never have died. Its hard knowing that she'll never be there for me for things like my wedding, and if I ever have kids, she's gunna miss my 18th birthday in just over 4 months time now too. But I know she wouldn't want me to just throw my life away, maybe thats why I'm still here right now.