I bury my mom tomorrow. I got through the Visitation fine. I am a pk... so I can say all the right things when I need to. What I want to say is... Why my mom? My brother and my mother were already all that's left and both want to live. They have reasons to live. It should have been me. Why am I still here? I am alone. Believe me... the past month has shown me just how alone I am. I simply cannot 'do' life. Too weak I guess. Now losing my mom too... I feel tremendous pain. And anger. And guilt. I don't want to feel like this. I'm so tired.