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Death

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#1
With my ignorance, I can say that I'm not scared of any process or methods of dying, except for what happens afterward.

In the stance of Christianity, and/or other religions, I don't fancy the idea of living eternally in either hell or heaven. In another aspect, I don't fancy reincarnation - I don't want to come back here. I don't want to live as a ghost, or a spirit. I don't want to be immortal. But one of these things are probably true and that's scary - at least to me.

I just read an interactive novel - The Grim and I. Even though it's fantasy, and I shouldn't spare it second thought, it did connect with me in a terrifying way. Imagine not being able to leave this life behind. To be stuck here to watch as your time, the people who you know and care for, move on. For them to pass on, and memories of you to dissipate. To watch helplessly as time scrubs away what's left of your existence - like you weren't anything. Bound to watch, forever. I can't stand the thought of existing for an eternity.

It's just terrifying to think about. Normally people cling onto life; adore it in a sense. But I just want to be nothing - during and after life. Even though it's impossible, I often picture myself before I was born, before I was, for a taste of how comforting nothing can be.

I wish it were as simple as that.
 
#2
Sorry that thinking about this is causing you so much distress.
In the stance of Christianity, and/or other religions, I don't fancy the idea of living eternally in either hell or heaven. In another aspect, I don't fancy reincarnation - I don't want to come back here. I don't want to live as a ghost, or a spirit. I don't want to be immortal. But one of these things are probably true and that's scary - at least to me.
You could probably ask some folks in different traditions about this. They might have some interesting feedback.
Even though it's impossible, I often picture myself before I was born, before I was, for a taste of how comforting nothing can be.
I think there are certain Buddhist sects that put a lot of emphasis on the awareness of nothing. I think the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Buddhism are very focused on nothingness and awareness of nothingness.

There are some meditation practices where you first imagine void. Void is not nothing though because it has a color (black), spacial dimensions, and implicitly, an observer to be aware of these characteristics. Taking a step beyond the void means that the candle of the mind has gone out. There is no observer and nothing to be observed.

This may be the nothingness you are looking for.
 
#3
With my ignorance, I can say that I'm not scared of any process or methods of dying, except for what happens afterward.
There are lots of methods of dying, most in fact, that deter me from trying.

But once you're gone, I doubt there's an 'afterwards'.

Jesus, and other Sages, compare it to 'sleeping without dreaming'.

And that tends to be the best part of my day, [24 hour] sweet sleep.

It's just terrifying to think about. Normally people cling onto life; adore it in a sense. But I just want to be nothing - during and after life. Even though it's impossible, I often picture myself before I was born, before I was, for a taste of how comforting nothing can be.

I wish it were as simple as that.
It just may be that simple. How it's imagined OTOH ....
 
#4
Oblivion and nothingness are comforting. That is deliverance.

I, too find the idea of continuing on in some form in this reeking pit of a world horrifying. And whoever came up with the concept of reincarnation should be kicked. Furiously.
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#5
indeed I wish things were simple as that, but sometimes people confuse nothingness with numbness, which one do you truly want? Because If you choose for it to be nothingness can become numbness and numbness can become nothingness
 
#6
There are lots of methods of dying, most in fact, that deter me from trying.

But once you're gone, I doubt there's an 'afterwards'.

Jesus, and other Sages, compare it to 'sleeping without dreaming'.

And that tends to be the best part of my day, [24 hour] sweet sleep.



It just may be that simple. How it's imagined OTOH ....
I hope that's the case as well
 
#8
indeed I wish things were simple as that, but sometimes people confuse nothingness with numbness, which one do you truly want?
I don't think anyone can really say what they want, mostly because I don't think anyone - at least anyone alive - has experienced what it means to be completely numb, or be nothing. But I don't think that should deter people from having their desires.
 
#9
You could probably ask some folks in different traditions about this. They might have some interesting feedback.

I think there are certain Buddhist sects that put a lot of emphasis on the awareness of nothing. I think the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Buddhism are very focused on nothingness and awareness of nothingness.

There are some meditation practices where you first imagine void. Void is not nothing though because it has a color (black), spacial dimensions, and implicitly, an observer to be aware of these characteristics. Taking a step beyond the void means that the candle of the mind has gone out. There is no observer and nothing to be observed.

This may be the nothingness you are looking for.
I'm not big on religion, but I'd love to learn more about this. If you want, you can list some sources or anything about this - I'll appreciate a lot if you did.

Regardless of whether this is what I'm searching for, the fear of this NOT being what's after death still keeps me up at night.

However, I appreciate your concern. Thank you.
 
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