Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Love's Icy Death, Jun 11, 2008.

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  1. Love's Icy Death

    Love's Icy Death Well-Known Member

    For months it seems I've been thinking constantly about death, its so bad that when I'm driving in a car I'll be thinking what if that car ahead crashes into me I'll die, or I'll be waiting at the train station and i think what if i fell or jumped onto the tracks. I'm not scared of death or anything like that, its always on my mind and i can't get rid of it.

    I sometimes think that if i died, apart from my mum and dad and select friends who would morn my loss, and i compare to my other friends and i can see more people at their funerals than mine. Jesus how bad does that sound, and that leads to when i talk to for example the more popular people in my college and i think your going to have more people at your funeral than i ever will.

    Also would my death negate any success that i have collected along the way, whether i die today or in my 70's i wont be remembered, I'll end up another pile of dust and my body will return to the earth, I'm not looking for some religious meaning in life but whats the point if my life turns out like that.

    I'm having conflicts to whether i am a good person or not, I'll watch a program in which contestants can win either a large or low amount of money depending on what random boxes they pick. Anyways this particular man came on and he needed to win a certain amount as his wife was dying of cancer and she needed specialized treatment or something and as the game progressed he could of had something like £50,000 or £100 and he got £100 and i laughed, especially when he started to i bad person for doing that?

    I try to deal with this with self harm, but its taking deeper and more cuts to make it go away and it does for a short while, do i need to seek help, i dont even know where to start?

    Love's Icy Death
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You're not a bad person.
    If you believe we end up dust, why not make the best out of it while you're here. Do what's best for yourself while you're here, don't worry about being remembered or what life is going to be like when you're 70. Just worry about right now.
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