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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tendenCs_89, Dec 20, 2008.

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  1. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    ok i needed to write this down because im in absolute meltdown
    about 45 minutes ago walking on the way back from a friends house at about 8.15 in the morning i saw a corpse in teh street quite close to where live
    he was some old guy any age between 60-80 and he must have had a heart attack. he was as pale as hell and had blood trickling out of his mouth. he had a bottle of milk and a newspaper next to him and i found out later he had just been to the shops to buy some stuff like 10 minutes ago before he dropped dead in the street
    i was the first person to see him and was fucking shocked. i managed to tell someone to get the ambulance and had teh police record my personal details because i was teh 1st one who saw him
    I couldnt stop looking at this sad old guy and didnt leave until the police closed off teh area and i had to get moved on.
    I live in London, in quite a rough area and i know that death happens a lot, but i never expected seeing it so early in the morning to a random guy going about his life. I was and still am fucking shocked as hell
    I know this post may seem liek a fucking insult to people on sf who have seen a family member die or been raped or something, as seeing a random corpse is probably just nothing compared to what some of you guys have seen, but this is the first time ive seen a corpse and i know that most people live their lives without ever seeing one (well mainly in western places liek the UK and USA i guess) and its really disturbed me
    Seeing this actually made me realise how fragile life is, seeing a normal guy doing his normal routine that hes probably done for years getting fucking struck down like that. and its actually given me a kind of incentive to try and value my life and try and stop feeling liek shit instead of just wallowing in it
    im not saying im a new man and im cured but it has changed my perspective i guess
    anyway to stop this from just being a rant i want to ask people on sf if they have seen a dead person and how it affected them either positively or negatively
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    I once lived in a house that was split up into flats. An old woman who lived there died and I had to call the cops etc. That's the only time I've been that close but I also once saw a party of about ten people killed by a big rockfall in the Alps when I was climbing there. That was on the other side of the valley but hit me harder. That was different because it wasn't what would be termed natural causes. It turned out that a couple of the group were only in their early twenties.Having death right there in your face can effect people in different ways but I felt very similar to the way you say you are feeling. It cartainly makes you think about the fragility of life.
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    :hug: I don't really know what to say. But i hope it has helped to get it all off your chest.
  4. when i was 12 or so, i used to play hockey for my local team. we had a match away somewhere, not sure where or when exactly, but its irrelevant. one of the guys on my team, Colin was quite a bit older than me, my mates dad in fact. we were doing well, winning, but toward the end of the game, Colin collapsed and me and my brother couldnt do anything but watch as he slowly died, he told my brother he would be okay, but he wasnt. i was never really sure how i reacted to that, i think it disillusioned me for sure, im not scared of death, it cant be right for a 12 year old to embrace death. anyways, 10 years on, im still alive, so however it impacts you, the strength you need comes from the person you are. theres no harder thing to do than to accept death, itll make you stronger however you deal with it.
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