Have you ever wondered how someone so young, could die such a tragic death? My older brother's Girlfriend died Friday night. I feel so sad for my brother. He really loved her. She was only 19... He almost made me cry today because he is really letting himself go. He's totally drunk and he cries a lot. I don't know what to do to help him because nothing will help him. She's dead... I can't believe she's dead. She was killed almost instantly. Her ribcage broke and one of her ribs pierced her heart and left lung. Her neck snapped too. Her four year old sister came out totally unharmed though. Not a scratch. But she's dead... It was a car accident... There was a car coming at a totally outrageous speed, trying to run away from the cops and he hit her car. Right on her side of the car... And she died. I don't know what... This is useless. I'm just writing all my thoughts down and they are so choppy. I can't believe she's dead!!! She was only 19. She had just graduated from school and was planning on going to college. Her life was just tossed aside in a stupid car accident... And now my brother is torn in half. His heart ripped out and squeezed... He's bleeding inside and... and I feel so bad! My mind was totally numb when I found out yesterday. I thought my brother was playing around. But sadly, he wasn't joking. It's really weird when someone dies. I always feel totally emotionless and then a couple of days later, I feel rage, sadness... out of control. It's like when my friend Mariah commited suicide. I was in total shock... I really felt as if it was my fault. No one cared at school, at home... No one made a big deal out of it. It was as if nothing had ever happened. It has been almost three years since she's been gone and I still blame myself for it. I could have been a better friend. Called her once in a while. But I didn't. She will never know how much she really meant to me. I think that's one of the reasons I loathe myself so much. Why I SI. Why my life is shit. No, my life's shit cause my cousin came into it. Whatever.
Oh my God! That is just ... terrible!! I am so so sorry to hear that! Sorry for her, for your brother, for you ... for her family. I don't even know what to write. This is so sad. I am here if you need to talk! Please take care, and take care of your brother as he really needs it now.
Its hard to describe that feeling when someone dies. As yet I've not lost any members of my family, I dont know how that will feel, but I have had friends die, and its the strangest feeling. Like you said at the time you find out it doesnt really hit. I remember one mate of mine from the local pub, he used to drink himself stupid all the time, mainly I think just because he was lonely, and partly just because he had always done it. He was a good guy, and I should have helped him get off the booze. As it was, I didnt, then one day he was just walking home from the pub, slipped over, smacked his head on the curb and that was it. I thought for ages about how I could have prevented it from happening, and how I wished I'd called him more to chat and stuff - its a horrible feeling knowing that you wont be able to communicate with the person anymore. I dont know what to say to you, I hope you feel better soon, I doubt I'm much help in my current state of mind. I guess just try to take it one day at a time and avoid thinking, that's all I'm trying to do at the moment, I'm still here amazingly, and hopefully I will still be here for a while.
