Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kaos General, May 2, 2011.

  1. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    I know its a subject that most people dont really like to talk about but i feel the need to at the moment so here we are.

    Am i the only one who is so emotionally shut off, that when someone dies that i know, and am close to i feel nothing. Normally when someone dies you would expect some form of emotion, be it anger, grief etc. I feel absoloutely nothing. It seems i have the emotion range of a pencil. Its like i was at the hospital and they told me im probably gonna die in the forseeable future and absoloutely nothing, i just laughed at them. Maybe i need a slap or something
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No you don't need a slap I don't know i sort of numb out for years then it hits me much later on it is like i shut down all emotions who knows why maybe to protect myself to be strong for others i don't know but years later a trigger something just brings me back to that time and finally the emotions come.
    Perhaps if you are on medications they are what is giving you this affect as well.
  3. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    I still get upset about death, but lots of people are like you so therefore you don't need a slap.
  4. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    Angerfist you dont need a slap at all. something somewhere must have hurt you enough that you disassociate or something. like others have said...its not unusual. you are emotionally numb for a reason and therapy will hopefully get you to see that. part of my therapy is to deal with my emotional numbing, its not a nice feeling but its real and will have many causes.

    has something happened before these deaths that traumatised you as this could trigger the way you feel now...

    but the basic answer to a basic question is can feel nothing...shock can do that.

    keep posting if you want to open up some more
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Wayne do I understand correctly that they told you you are going to die and how soon is the foreseeable future?
    no wonder you're in 'shock'
    sending you BIG *hug*
    wanna talk more about it we're here for you

    if you've suffered many traumas you probably have 'emotional numbing' as well.,,this is to protect yourself from anymore pain..
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    IV is right no wonder you are in so much shock You want to talk about what is happening Do you have an incurable illness or can you get treatment to help you If ever you need to talk you can pm me okay
  7. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    death IS really scary, cause you cant say whats there , you want to know but that is fantasy...shit I wish I was the animal of LIFE!!!!
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you continue to reach out here okay talk about what is happening especially when you start treatment .. You will need someone to hold onto i am here as others are okay when that time comes hugs
  9. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member don't need a slap,you need a hug dude.

    btw,you're avatar rocks. :)
  10. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    I am like that too. But I don't think I'm emotionally shut off. In fact, I really don't see the problem here. I think people suffer after someone dies because of selfishness. I don't think that it is either good or bad. Some people do it, some don't.
  11. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    I really dont understand how you can possibly justify this comment. many here have lost people or are in process of doing so, and to suggest they are selfish because they are in pain as a result is the last thing they need to hear. what is selfish is that you didnt think your comment would hurt anyone on the basis that as you are not bothered by loss you assume its wrong for those of us that are.

    sorry..but i am upset by this and had to respond.

    you are lucky if you can accept the loss of anyone so dismissively, but now i think of it you are not...i think its sad, but maybe you have a reason for this and could open another thread where we can try to help you.
  12. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Your new so ill go easy in my response to you. Who are you to say what act is selfish or not? You cant possibly sit their and say every single person who has killed themselves has been selfish. Say someone has no family or friends, are they too selfish? Say someone has a incurable disease and it is causing them a lot of pain, are they also selfish for wanting to die while they can still make that choice? You cant possibly make a statement like that on a site such as this because the vast majority of us have been labelled as selfish because of what we feel at one point by a professional or by friends. Keep in mind the kind of people your talking to, most of us share a lot of similarities with yourself, because we are all here because we are in pain or trouble and we reached out to talk to people in the same position to gain some sort of understanding.

    Sorry i never replied last night i was doing a shift for the Samaritans so was kinda busy. Anyway yeah, its not the fact that it comes to me at a later date, i know precisely whats caused it. Ill try to get it all out at once. Ive watched my girlfriend 10 years ago overdose from heroin, and later found out she was pregnant, just hardly anyone knew that. Came back to the flat i was living in at the time to find my friend had hanged herself. Watched my aunt die from breast cancer. Watch one of my best friends kill himself by way of lighter gas on purpose. Watch another of my friends die from AIDS. Seen another 2 of my friends die from heroin overdose within a day of each other 2 days after i come out of prison because the heroin was far too strong. Another friend threw himself into the river severn because he couldnt handle being an alcoholic anymore. Found out that one of my friends had been killed over a £20 debt. Another one be killed because of a row with a psychotic dealer who subsequently chopped him up and dumped him in the woods (anyone from worcester knows who im talking about)

    These are all the reasons why i feel no emotion when someone dies, its like ive become immune to it somehow.
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh my've had more than your fair share of ****!!
    no wonder you've got emotional numbing..
    if it's how you cope then there's nothing wrong with it..
    it's self preservation :hugtackles:
  14. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    A few years ago I experienced several family/friend/colleague deaths in rapid succession - some age related,some suicides, some drink or drugs related, cancer, murder. I began to wonder who would be next and, at one point, just thought 'not another one'! So I think I have some idea about how you would feel numb -it's not about not caring, it's overload.
    I'm more concerned about the point that other posters have raised - about your health. What is going on for you? Is there anything you want to or need to talk about some more? X
  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi have you heard when your next appt will be ihope soon the waiting must be hard on you hugs
  16. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    I am a person, and a person is entitled to opinions, I am sorry, I was supposed to say that in my post.
    I think people suffer after someone dies because of selfishness.

    that's all I said. I was not refering to people who comit suicide. And I will not apologise for having my own experiences that led me to have this opinion.

    But I Can apologise for posting here. So, I am sorry. Have a nice day.
  17. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    I did not say that, here's what I said:

  18. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Post wherever you like but post something like that when someone is suicidal and you only have yourself to blame for the backlash you will inevitably recieve off other members. Please dont lie, its something i despise more than anything.

    You are posting on a suicide forum and your talking about death and hows its selfish, the only way in which selfish is used in the same sentence as death is suicide. Your right you are entitled to your own opinions and you are also entitled to my opinions as well. Just because i disagree with you i have still read what you have to say, doesnt mean i think any less of you just because i disagree
  19. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    whether you were referring to peeps who commit suicide or those left behind after death of any nature it is still not the kind of thing to say on this forum, as i stated, many peeps here are struggling with grief for many different reasons and to suggest they are selfish for the way they feel is insensitive in the extreme, some may feel guilty for the loss they suffered and your statement could push them over the edge. no one is saying you cant have an opinion, but please remember the kind of forum you are on, "SF - A support forum for people in crisis" the clue is in the title.

    if you have a problem that makes you feel like this then as suggested you could make your own thread explaining how you feel this way and maybe get some support.
  20. MLKane

    MLKane Well-Known Member

    so I'mma ignore the comment about selfishness because I don't want to flame.

    Everything below is my opinion. this is how I feel. it may not neccersarily be how you feel, in fact I don't think I should feel the way I do.

    But yeah, in my life I've been lucky with death, I've had very little exposure. when I was young, distant relatives would die, my parents would be sad and I wouldn't understand why. now I'm older I've lost three friends, one to a car accident, one to accidental overdose and one to an accidental fall. no suicides or murders there. I've just moved on, the people left me behind, but thats not so different from when a living person decides to stop associating with you. they just stop being there one day, and you either care or you don't. I just don't. maybe if I was a more caring person I'd regret their deaths but I've always understood that people will always let you down, even when I was little. I allowed myself to believe otherwise once, and it burned me, so now I'm pretty entrenched in the belief that people are transitory at best. death doesn't bother me, because in my head I've already accepted that we're all already dead, we just don't know it yet.